Why do men promise to call and don't

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Why do men promise to call and don't
3
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 9:36am
Why do men (and I'd love some men to answer this)promise to call after a date with no intention of doing so. I was dating a guy (who I know quite well through work) and he seemed to be a lot keener than I was (I thought we lacked chemistry but hey give it a chance....) Now I haven't seen him in 3 weeks even though he keeps texting me suggesting dates at weekend etc and sending me silly jokey messages and now nothing in a week and nothing for Valentines. Obviously he's not interested but why did he keep contacting me and if he had no interest couldn't he of said, his lack of contact and follow through has now just made the situation awkward (for him mostly as I hire him for work and I won't now) - are men mad or just him??

He'll get an earful if he contacts me now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 6:49pm
I think they do it for several reasons....

1. Could be a "test" to see if you will get upset about it.

2. Could be that he hasn't had a chance to miss your presence enough to give you a call. (Guys usually wait some time before they contact a woman after he realizes he may be into her)

3. May not be interested at all, but they say they will call out of courtesy.

4. They have some set of rules on how long they will wait to contact a woman they like.

These are usually the main reasons, I think. But whatever you do, don't take it personal. I would just be patient and wait, and you may be surprised when they contact you later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 7:44pm
Why do you allow him to contact you - why give him an earful when the easiest thing to do is just to ask him nicely not to contact you unless and until he wants to plan a specific date. He is doing nothing wrong by contacting you unless you have told him to stop.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 11:46am
If you want him to call you, don't tell him not to call---guys don't read that too well. I wouldn't say "call me when you want to set up a date" because then you sound like you are mad because he didn't ask you out. The best strategy is to be patient and let him get his head together, and when he asks you out again...politely say it will have to be another time and make him wait on you to be available.