What is the correct dating timeframe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
What is the correct dating timeframe?
6
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 2:13pm
I am 30 years old and have been dating this 27 year old guy since the 1st of February(about 3 weeks). We have been out together three times alreday and this weekend will be our fourth date. We talk on the phone usually only once a week....maybe twice...but we keep in contact on e-mail at work almost every day. Because of our work situations...its harder to get together during week but more convenient on the weekends. At what point in this whole dating process should he start calling more and asking me to go out more than just ONCE a week if he is really interested in me?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 2:16pm

I don't think there's a "correct" dating time frame, just what works for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 2:43pm
There is no timeframe that works for everyone b/c everyone's different. Just pay attention to how it goes as time passes, and if you're satisfied and content with it (and if he is, too). If he remains happy with once a week as the months go by, it's time for you to re-evaluate the situation. It might not be the right one for you.

I dated a guy for 4 months who could only get together once a week (one wkend night) due to his busy life. I also initiated most email contact during the week. We discussed it -- it was all he could offer. He had other priorities (workaholic) and responsibilities and once a week was all he had time to socialize. He was very interested in me when we were together but it wasn't for me and I broke it off. We weren't incorporating each other into our lives and it still just seemed like a casual dating relationship to me. I wanted more, so I moved on. IMO if something isn't working for you after 4-6 months, I'd say it's not likely to. Also, keep track of your feelings and thoughts. If you find yourself frustrated, upset, angry, irritated, disappointed, etc. MORE often than you are happy, content, satisfied, etc...it's not working for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 3:55pm
Hey ISaturn-

If you want more than one day a week, why don't you just ask him? Or have you already done this? A relationship is about compromising the needs of the two of you- if you're not happy with one day a week, then you should ask him to incorporate more couple's time in his calendar. I don't think I would wait 4-6 months for this either!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 3:59pm

I sure wouldn't do it after just three weeks, though, especially if they are not exclusive yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 4:01pm
Thank you all soo much for your reponses. Since this will be only our 4th date coming up this weekend....and seeing that he is quite busy...It would be pushy, I think...to as to see him more when I don't even know where we stand yet. We are not exclusive by any means. But I agree with you that 4 to 6 months is a bit long to wait to ask to see someone more than once a week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 4:03pm
Thank you soo much for your response......Your advice really helps and makes sense!