I snooped...should I confess?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
I snooped...should I confess?
7
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 4:05pm
I was snooping through my boyfriend's palm pilot and found a female co-worker's cell phone number. None of his other co-workers' numbers were in the palm pilot and he does not talk or hang out with this particular female outside of work (that I'm aware of). Now my mind is coming up with all these different scenarios, wondering if he's cheating on me, etc. and it's driving me crazy. Should I confront him about it or leave it alone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 4:13pm
Um, is it possible that they work together or worked on a particular project together and he had to have her number available? I used to have several male co-workers numbers stored on my cell phone b/c I worked with them and needed to have their numbers where I could find them.

If you have no other cause for suspicion (maybe you do? why were you snooping in the first place?) then I'd forget about it. If you do have other reasons to be suspicious, then that's a different matter.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 4:21pm
They are bartenders together, and I'm a suspicious person by nature and have trust issues, so that's why I snooped.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 4:52pm

My feeling about snooping is that if you have that little trust in the context of the relationship that you're stooping to snooping, then you either need to leave the relationship or address the issues, and the only way you can do the latter is by being honest with your partner about who you are and what YOUR issues are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 5:03pm
My boyfriend and I just had a discussion today regarding my lack of trust, and he's well aware of my issues...and although he's been very reassuring and tries to put my mind at ease every time something like this comes up, I can sense he's getting frustrated. And I was actually just looking up my health insurance company's providers for mental health services...I want to seek counseling before this ruins the best relationship I've ever had. Are there any other avenues I can pursue? I'd really love to quit living my life like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 5:06pm
Nevermind. You answered my question in your second post.


Edited 2/19/2004 5:17:23 PM ET by zurah
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 5:16pm
There must be loads of books out there to help you (Dr. Phil, Richard Carlson, etc.). The thing is, and you may know this already, this is your issue to deal with and overcome. No amount of reassurance from other people is ever going to be enough to stop what's going on within you. Reassurance from others only treats the symptoms, will only ease you for a short time ....the source of the problem within you just continues to grow at the root and will do so until you identify and control it.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 5:22pm

Good for you!