sex early in a relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
sex early in a relationship
2
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 6:16pm
Recently I have been starting to date guys and having sex with them soon. Its embarrassing but like within a week of seeing them we hardly have had sex. I enjoy sex and hope Im not coming across as sluty cuz I dont feel I am. The problem is that I hook up with these guys a couple of times and then they just ignore me after or say that they dont want to get involved at that moment. I feel confused because I am a nice girl and I wouldnt have sex if I didnt want to. I am beganing to think that either these guys are completely immature jerks or that I just havent found the right guy and need to hold out. Maybe I am lucky to find out right away that they are just interested in sex. It doesnt bother me that much that they dont want to see me, it just bothers me that they come up with lame excuses or just flat out ignore me. What should I do? Any advice will be helpful. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 6:38pm
If don't want to be confused in the future - DO NOT have sex with guys that soon. Wait until you figure out if the guy want to have relatioships with you. If he just after sex he'll disappear in a week or two, if he really likes you - he'll wait. What you described is a typical guy's behaviour - after they get what they wanted they disappear, move to another girl. As about excuses...what kind of excuse do you want to hear?...They ignore you because they don't want to bother themselvs with making up exscuses.


Edited 2/19/2004 6:40:29 PM ET by oxy76
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 7:48pm
My guess is that they realize after having sex with you that they are not into you enough to have a relationship with you which would include both friendship and sex. Also, if you value a long term relationship it might be worth it to wait to have sex after you are committed and dating for a few months - sure, marriages can and do result from one night stands but more often, having sex too soon can give the wrong impression as to what your priorities and values are - or you might come across as needy after sex, which may make you feel more vulnerable.

I cannot really relate since I cannot imagine having sex with someone outside of a loving, committed, serious relationship and that to me doesn't get established until at least a few months of dating. That's just me though.