BROKEN HEART

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
BROKEN HEART
7
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 8:17pm
My ex-fiance called off our wedding 5 months before its date, & I can't seem to get over the pain.(He lost all the deposits, paid me back +++, paid my cellphone bill for the following year and gave me back my ring) It's been almost two years now and HE STILL KEEPS IN TOUCH & I don't understand why. I still don't understand whats going on in a guys mind! You love her but you can't commit to her????? We dated for 6 years before getting engaged. He's 6years younger than me (I was 30 and he was 24) so thats the only excuse I can make up for him. We were never apart. It was a shock to everyone including his family. I need advise. I'm still in love with him & would marry him in a heatbeat. He's got a girlfriend of 1 year now but whenever he talks about her to me or our mutual friends he's very negative towards her. I feel like he's stringing me along but I STILL CAN'T walk away. The only thing we have between us now is a stupid box of his stuff that I have in storage. Thats his reason for calling me & our conversation ALWAYS lasts 1 hour or more. We talk like nothing has happened. Once that box is gone there isn't a reason for a call.

I miss him so much that it hurts...Should I still have hope that someday we will get back together? I don't know many people who still keep in touch with their exs or worst ex-fiances..


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: aqt72
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 8:31pm

The remedy to this situation is totally in your control, if you have the desire to stop the painful limbo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: aqt72
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 9:08pm
ITS SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOUR GOING TO DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAID TO ME IS EXACTLY WHAT I'VE HEARD BEFORE BUT I WAS TOO AFRAID TO ACT ON IT B/C I STILL LOVE HIM. IT WASN'T JUST PUPPY LOVE OR SOME KIND OF CRUSH. IT WAS A LONG 6YRS. WE'VE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS AND ALWAYS MADE IT THROUGH.(EXCEPT FOR THIS TIME. WE EVEN PURCHASED A "FAMILY CAR",A HOUSE WAS ABOUT 6MONTHS AWAY & KIDS WERE SUPPOSE TO BE IN THE PICTURE SOON AFTER THE WEDDING. BUT WHY DOES HE STILL KEEP IN CONTACT? ITS NOT LIKE WE HAVE KIDS OR ANYTHING THAT WOULD BOND US FOREVER. ITS JUST A STUPID BOX FULL OF CRAP. I GOT ADVICE FROM MUTUAL FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND IT JUST NOT THE SAME TO HEAR IT FROM A STRANGER. I'M JUST MAD THAT IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GO AND FIND SOMEPLACE THAT I COULD TALK ABOUT IT. I'M EMBARRASED TO SEE CERTAIN PEOPLE THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN SINCE THE BREAK B/C OF THE QUESTIONS LIKE WHY? HE NEVER REALLY GAVE ME AN ANSWER. IF I WERE TO GO TO A PSYCHIATRIST I'D FEEL LIKE I'M A WHACK JOB.

THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING SO QUICKLY. I'VE KNOWN WHAT TO DO FROM THE BEGINING BUT WAS TOO AFRIAD TO DO ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY SINCE HE STILL CALLS. I STILL HAD HOPE THAT THINGS WOULD WORK OUT. I REALLY DO NEED TO MOVE ON. I'M JUST TIRED OF EVERYTHING THAT HES PUT ME THROUGH..

THANX AGAIN ELENA
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: aqt72
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 9:13pm

You're welcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: aqt72
Thu, 02-19-2004 - 9:18pm
I didn't know that about all caps. I'm new to this website.

Thanx Elena
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
In reply to: aqt72
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 3:39am
girlfriend!!!!!

something major did happen. you can't pretend that it didn't and go on like it was okay. you should never think so little of yourself. let alone let somebody else make you feel that way. it's not worth it. i'm going through a break up myself right now and this is from a guy, 24 that also spoke of marriage and kids in great detail for the last 7months and broke up with me out of no where. saying that he can't handle a relationship in his life right now. i know it's not the same as yours but, i feel you are selling yourself short. you need a clean break from this. you can't talk to this guy as if nothing has happend and everything is okay. it's not and you know it.

maybe him breaking it off is a blessing in disguise for you. do you really want somebody that can't be willing to be there for you. he is young but, so what you know. don't let that be the excuse. you should try and not talk to him. the more you pull away and he knows you are not there the more he will realize what he's missing and maybe you might realize you really don't want him. i mean it's been two years girl and he's seeing somebody else. you need to take care of you. i'm sure you're a great girl and deserve so much better sweatheart. best of luck to you! i need it too, i feel your pain.

schiele314


Edited 2/20/2004 4:13:25 AM ET by schiele314
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: aqt72
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 5:04pm
Thank you Schiele for your advice. This may sound stupid but getting advice from someone who is going through or has experienced something similar to the situation is different than hearing it from someone who hasn't. I read your info,& I can't tell you anything to help you but I do wish you luck:):):)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: aqt72
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 5:37pm

Hi


I'm so sorry for your pain but what you need most here is closure.

,