Break-up, need help-PLEASE!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Break-up, need help-PLEASE!!!!!!
2
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 2:57am
My boyfriend recently broke up with me. We've been together for about a year and have broken up before. We were arguing a lot when we broke up the first time and when we got back together we worked through things and weren't fighting anymore. Things were so great. He actually was talking about future plans of marriage, ect.... This break-up was completely unexpected! I am very hurt because a part of me doesn't want to walk away but, I feel I have to if he truely doesn't want me there. His reasoning for breaking up is that he can't handle a relationship right now in his life. He says that he cares for me too much, thinks the world of me and can't handle it. I don't understand how somebody can be so intensly in love and there is constant talk about future and how happy he is and then breaks up just like that. We have not talked at all. It's been about three weeks now, and I'm not as devasted anymore but, I still can't seem to believe it. The situation is constanely on my mind and if not it's in my dreams. Everybody around just says he's going to regret this and you guys will get back together. I don't need to hear that and I don't think so. People usually break up when things are bad, not when they're good. I need some advise so that I can feel somewhat sane and think positive. Please!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 6:25am
Well, I am not going to tell you what I think about your situation, but only how it reminds me of what happened in mine. My ex, we were together for four years. We talked about serious things from time to time, marriage, kids. We were very close. For example, we would have a very close period of time, like a really close, romantic weekend. It would be wonderful and intense. Then, for example, he might break up with me on Monday morning. I say, just for example, becuase several times in the relationship when things were going well and very CLOSE, he would break up with me, tell me to get out of his life. It is only now, in retrospect that I can see it clearly. He did this a few times. I now believe we would get too close and he couldnt handle it. He would need to get out.

He broke up with me right before Christmas. We were growing farther apart, with less in common. I was ready to break up. Now, even tho he ended it and since has insulted me in my face, as if he cant stand me, is trying to get back together with me. I dont want to. The point I am trying to make is, he didnt always handle situations in a straightforward manner, and he loved me and broke up with me. I think most of the time it was because he was scared about getting too close.

Best of luck, try not to worry about it too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 2:05pm
Thank you penelope991! I appreciate your words.

schiele314