dating an older man
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dating an older man
| Fri, 02-20-2004 - 5:44pm |
To my fellow women,
I need advice, but I have never done this before. I am 21 years old and met this incredible man. He is 29 with a booming career and an amazing life. We met each other randomly and hit it off where we exchanged phone numbers and email. I emailed him first and then for about a month we just emailed back and forth. Then, we went on our first date. It was perfect to say the least. We had sex that night (on the first date) which I dont know was a bad or good decision. Anyway, I moved away for personal reasons and we talk about once a week, and when we do, it is great. The thing I am confused about is: I am getting myself way to emotionally envolved, and I dont know where this is going to end up. I feel like I am being the one who is pursuing him, and maybe he is just being nice and putting up with me. I mean this guy is the man you dream about when you are a kid (but never thought existed). He is perfect for me, but I dont know if I am perfect for him. I just need a reality check of what to do with my situation. I dont know if he is dating around or what, but where do I stand? and what do I do?? help! please!
I need advice, but I have never done this before. I am 21 years old and met this incredible man. He is 29 with a booming career and an amazing life. We met each other randomly and hit it off where we exchanged phone numbers and email. I emailed him first and then for about a month we just emailed back and forth. Then, we went on our first date. It was perfect to say the least. We had sex that night (on the first date) which I dont know was a bad or good decision. Anyway, I moved away for personal reasons and we talk about once a week, and when we do, it is great. The thing I am confused about is: I am getting myself way to emotionally envolved, and I dont know where this is going to end up. I feel like I am being the one who is pursuing him, and maybe he is just being nice and putting up with me. I mean this guy is the man you dream about when you are a kid (but never thought existed). He is perfect for me, but I dont know if I am perfect for him. I just need a reality check of what to do with my situation. I dont know if he is dating around or what, but where do I stand? and what do I do?? help! please!

Well to clear things up: I moved far away enough to not see him on a regular basis, but he has offered to fly me down a couple times. I have just not been able to see him because of my job. I am seeing him soon for a weekend and we both seem excited about it. I am not the only one calling all the time, but I do think that I do try to get in touch with him more than he gets in touch with me. I don't know... it is just like I am not supposed to be with him so I am waiting for him to come to his senses. I just dont know how to stop worrying and just have fun. When we are together, it all just falls into place, but since I am far away, it seems to engulf my thoughts. I feel like am just waiting for something bad to happen since he is this grown and independent man and I still live at home for now. I mean it just doesn't seem like a match...(but I want it to be so bad!!!!!!!!!)
Don't make any assumptions that he is or isn't seeing anyone else. The only way to know is to ask him. But...its just so early for that question, the two of you have only been on one date...not sure about that one.
One major cavaet with us guys though: If we get to have sex with you on the first date, most guys I know at least, will discount your "value" as LTR material because we may think, "Hmm...if she slept with me on the first date...how many other times has this happened? Or maybe while she was away, she could have dated another guy and done the same." Its very dangerous to sleep with a guy on the first date because if he thinks your "loose", then its very difficult to overcome and change that image in his mind.
...I meant that only applies if you are looking for an LTR with a guy....if not, then obviously its not big deal; its your perogative.
It just that if a guy gets to have sex with you on the first date, he is thinking "She is not looking for an LTR".
Aubrey =)