Crush on a guy at work

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Crush on a guy at work
5
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 8:22pm
Hi Ladies:

I'm new on this board & I'm hoping that you can help me. I've had this crush on a guy at my job for a few months now. I think he likes me, he's always very friendly & I notice that he always tries to get my attention by making eye contact. One time, I was talking to someone & he was over in the next cubicle, but from the corner of my eye, it looked like he was glancing over at me. I'd like to have lunch with him & get to know him better but the problem is is that I'm shy. Whenever I see him & I try to make conversation with him, but I get very bashful.

I'd like to find a way of suggesting lunch but I always have negative thoughts that he's not interested & that he'll turn me down. I fear rejection big time. I think about him constantly & I'd like to get to know him but starting off slowly by being friends ( I had thought about asking him out, but since we really don't know each other very well & haven't really spoken, I don't want to scare him away).

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Thank you, Ladies.

Ladybug_68

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Fri, 02-20-2004 - 11:16pm
Hi! Welcome to the board! My name is Max. I was reading your post and trust me, I am the same way. Well, I used to be for that matter. We've all gone through this scenario, where we are are afraid of rejection. I used to be so shy of being rejected. But then one day I decided enough, and that I should go for what I want. I just went up to my crush and asked him to go out. I knew he didn't even have a faint interest in me, but he still agreed. Men find this really sexy. Don't be aggressive, but sound confident. I swear I was sweating like crazy and my face went as red as a tomato when i asked him. But after he said yes, it feels so empowering. When you do it once, you certainly can do it again.

And don't forget, he is showing an interest in you. I suggest when he is alone (make sure he is alone, it's alot easier!) go up to him and ask him to go have lunch together. Lunch is a lot more relaxed, and technically it's not really a date, so even if things don't turn out you won't have to face him the next morning with sheer embarassement. However, if things seem to click, make sure you tell him during your lunch that you are available. Just be like "Mmm, this lunch is so good. Hey, have you ever been to (insert restaurant's name here)? They make the best (fill in). We should go there sometime." Then you can see where things take you.

Well I hope I helped you! Just remember, be confident. You have nothing to be shy about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 8:14am

Hi


Perhaps there's something work-oriented you can ask him about, guys always like to feel their opinion (uh, expertise) is wanted.)

,
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sat, 02-21-2004 - 7:13pm
I like both advice.

The only other thing I'd add is just to smile and be friendly and approachable to him. Say hello, how are you? Give him a big, big smile. Be genuine and warm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 11:39am
When you ask him to lunch do it in a friends only way; Like what are you doing for lunch today? Tell him that you are going to a restaurant,and that you feel silly eating alone. This way its not like you are asking him out,and he won't feel like you are. Who knows maybe this will give him the opportunity to tell you how he feels.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 10:27am
Good Morning, Ladies:

Thank you very much for your advice, Max & to everyone else who replied to my posting. The one thing I failed to mention is that my crush & I don't work in the same building; I work in Building "A" & he works in Building "B". So I only see him once or twice a week if I'm lucky. But my biggest challenge is getting him alone; I definitely don't want to ask him while other people are around (the walls have too many ears). I'll be nervous as hell but I can't let this go on any longer.

I'll let you know what happens.

Thanks again!

Ladybug_68