man here-woman confused me again

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
man here-woman confused me again
4
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 6:06pm


my ex and i broke up about a month ago. she said that she wanted to see other people. she recently said that she was mixed up emotionally and she wasnt ready for a relationship. she told me that she missed me alot though, and that she is not knocking the future for us, if i wasnt seeing anybody. the problem is that i really dont believe her. she told me that she loved me and was falling in love with me while we were dating, but when i asked her about that recently, she said that that was the way she felt then. so should i just move on or just stick around and see? its hard because i do love her. please help.

p.s. thanx to all who replied in the past, ur advice was great!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 8:02pm
Being right for someone is a MUTUAL feeling, and timing is part of it (that has to be right for both people, as well as many other things). IMO a person who thinks you are right for her will not need or want to look any further once she finds you. She's keeping you on a back burner by telling you "maybe someday." I wouldn't sit there waiting if I were you. It takes more than love to make a relationship successful, and many people feel they are falling in love in the beginning. But if that doesn't last....move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 10:21pm
Well there's 2 ways you can look at it...1- she's playing you and waiting to use you as a back up in case her meeting someone new falls through, my ex did that to me, he broke up with me badly, dated someone else right after and came back to me realizing i was what he wanted, but i feel that he doesn't deserve me now because he should have never had doubts if we were supposed to be together, or 2- well, my best friend was seeing her bf for 5 years and then decided she needed a break to just be single and have time for herself, she went out met other people but in doing this realized, why is she looking for someone else when he was all she wanted...well they are now back together and as happy as ever because there are no doubts anymore...but in either case if that's what your ex is doing...you should do the same, go out have fun and meet people to see if you will feel differently also.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 12:58am
It does sound like it is time to move on,you deserve to be happy. She will eventually realize how much you mean to her,or you will find a woman who will treat you the way deserve to be treated and loved. I know if my man were seeing someone else,I wouldn't be so confused right now. But snakegoddess' story about her friend has made me think too and seems to help leading me into the right decision,thanks snakegoddess;o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 3:55am
Well, I think you shouldn't sell yourself short just because she's confused. If things are meant to be they will be. You know? Yes, you love her and maybe she loves you and just needs time. Which is obviously what you need to give her and in the meantime do your thing! She can't have the best of both worlds. It's not fair to you. Who knows maybe in this time apart you might realize it's really not what you want. Who knows, but you need to give it time! Don't keep in touch with her. Let her miss you and know what it's like to not be with you. I'm not saying play games but, more so to give yourself some time for you.

I've been through what you are going through and I know how it feels. It sucks but, I assure you it does get better and you will be fine. Be strong my man! Best of luck to you.

Schiele314