Great date...now what?

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Great date...now what?
9
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 3:58am
Hi iVillagers. Well, surprise surprise ...I had a jolly good time on a first date last night with a really interesting guy. We went for a drink at a pub, then to the cinema to watch 'Something's Gotta Give' and then back to the pub for another drink and some good conversation about us & our interests. I really felt like sending him a 'thankyou for the fantastic time' text message last night but didn't want to appear over-eager about it. We both said that we'd enjoyed the evening but no talk of meeting up again. But I'd really love to do it again.We've both got a very busy work schedule & said that's it's gonna be a very hectic week ahead. Should I call/text/e-mail him saying how much I enjoyed it or do I let him get in touch first? Should I do it right away or leave some days pass? Thanks in advance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 8:46am
I'm so not an expert at this. But I can tell you what I've been told. Give it a few days. I'm not sure when your date was, but give it say 48 hrs. If you don't hear from him send him a message telling him that you had a nice time and thanking him. Maybe not mention getting together again, see if he responds and maybe he'll suggest something. Trust me, I'm in a similar spot right now and trying not to sweat the anticipation of a second date too much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 9:23am
Being polite and grateful is rarely seen as being over-eager. Don't wait too long to say thank-you. Its not like you are also going to ask him when the next date is in the same message. That would be over-eager.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 9:35am
Thanks for the feedback. You're right in that I should thank him for the good time, if anything, to let him know that I really enjoyed his company. Will send the message via email that way I don't appear to be pressing him.Hopefully one thing'll lead to another and maybe he'll suggest doing something again together.Will keep you posted.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 10:28am

Did you not thank him while you were ON the date???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 10:32am
As long as you said thank you on the date I am not a fan of the transparent thank you note which really says "Here I am - pleeeaaaassee ask me out again!" The only time I would do that is if something unusual happened on the date - your car broke down and he waited for hours with you - or one time I forgot to say thank you because we rushed off. I also think text messaging is a really bad idea - it seems very indirect and even more transparent. JMHO. I have heard from men who said nothing about seeing me again and not heard from men who asked me for a second date while on the first date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 10:35am
I think it is overkill so long as you show your appreciation and gratitude on the date and it makes it seem like no man has ever taken her out for dinner and a movie before. After 6 years of dating the same man on and off we still thank each other warmly and sincerely every time one of us does something for the other - and yes sometimes he calls me when he gets home to thank me again which is very sweet but in the beginning of dating you want to make sure not to overwhelm the person or send an overeager message. I find emailing too indirect anyway and open to misinterpretation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 12:44pm
I interpreted her post in that this message would be her first time to thank him for the date. If she thanked him in person at the end of the date, then a message isn't required.

Personally, if I receive a fun message or a thank you message I do not consider that to be over-eager. If I receive a message requesting more time together (especially after the first few dates) then that can be over-eager. It all depends on the tone and choice of words.

I'm sure if he is interested in a 2nd date he will contact her. If they get to 5 or 6 dates then she needs to initiate some contact as an expression of her interest in him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 1:25pm
Most men I know see the "thank you" email as a transparent request for another date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 2:12pm
i know all the rules with dating, waiting a couple days, letting him call you etc. Honestly, i think if you really connected and feel you want to send him something, go for it. Good you didnt do the night of, but I think sending a thank you email the next day is fine. just keep it brief and to the point, end with something such as, hope we can do it again sometime or hope to hear from you soon. Leave it up to him to make next move. And defintely dont do anything else until he responds. Thats my advice for what its worth! Good luck!