No clue what to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
No clue what to do...
4
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 1:51pm
Hi Everyone,

I'm 26 and I've been dating a guy for about a month now. Everything moved pretty quickly, but oddly, I was very comfortable with that. We usually saw each other every 2-3 days, talked every day. For once he played the "girl" in the relationship, asking if we were dating, showing concern that he wasn't a rebound for me, etc. All the while he was still very confident in himself. That's what I loved about him, he shows vulnerabilty. We had a GREAT Valentine's Day (he asked me out for VDay 3 weeks in advance!). A few days later he even made mention to "our relationship". He just bought a new motorcyle and one of the first things he said was "we'll need to make sure my old helmet fits you". So things were GREAT.

All of a sudden he seems to be withdrawing. We hardly talked last week, only a few minutes here and there. I sent him a text message on Thursday and he INSTANTLY called back. I didn't talk to him over the weekend. This morning he IM'ed me and wanted to know why I didn't call him over the weekend. I said that I thought he wanted space. All he said was "ok". Then I asked if things were ok between us, he said "yup". Thinking things were ok and maybe I was just being silly, I asked if he wanted to hang out tonight. "we'll have to see" was his response. He's NEVER not wanted to see me or jumped on the opportunity to see me.

Ok, what in the world is going on here? I have NO IDEA how to proceed!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 2:41pm
Aren't you being slightly melodramatic? I don't see anything wrong, maybe he has pending plans with someone else tonight and that's why he said "we'll see" I wouldnt get all bent out of shape about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 3:27pm
It's just the typical burnout when a person moves too fast in a relationship without considering whether that is a healthy way to do things. Just give him space and move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 7:34pm
I would not stress too much. Maybe he has other things on his mind, maybe he has plans, who knows? But don't worry about it until you know for sure what's going on. Give him some space and see what he does with it. Be cautiously optimistic... If in a few days he is still withdrawn, I would just check in with him and ask him if anything is going on...

How old is he?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 9:45am
Thank you all for your replies. We'll see what happens!