Best Friend Vs Boy Friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Best Friend Vs Boy Friend
3
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 6:14pm
Hello everyone:

I am dating this girl for about 6 months now.Everything seems to be going really good. I just want to get your views on this situation.

I go out on a date with my gf and her friends. I got into an argument with my gf's best friend. It was actually about one of her other friends. One of her friends were really loud in a public place (restaurant) and i was asking her to speak softly, who i have known personally for a while. So i was not being offensive or rude but just letting her know that she was too loud. My gf's best friend jumped into a conversation which she was not part of and started saying that i dint have to be around them if i dint like them and went on to make comments that were very rude and offensive. She was not only rude but also very loud and abnoxious.

I did not want to take it any further and just stopped talking. I was really embarassed and very mad. I chose not to argue because i felt really awkward with my gf and her friends around me. I just felt that i might hurt or offend my gf's feelings by saying something mean. I felt really offended by the way her best friend spoke to me.



How does one deal with this situation. I was really pissed about it and i would probably not want to go out together with them again. I was upset and my gf did not like me being upset but at the same time she did not do anything about the situation.

I personally thought that my gf could have said something at the time or talked to her friend later because if i were in her shoes and if one of my friends were being mean to my gf....I would jump in and let them know that they are being mean or talk to them later about it.

If any of you girls are in the situation with your bf's what would you do? Would you jump in and say something about what you think about the situation at the time or wait till later....or would you just stay out of it. How would you handle it if you thought that your best friend was at fault or would you be obliged not to say anything to your best friend and rather apologize for your friend's behaviour.

Your views and opinions are appreciated.

Thanks

Joe

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 6:34pm

I don't think anyone is responsible for anyone else's behavior, so apologizing for someone else is just plain silly!


Perhaps your gf just knows that this is how this woman is and knows that saying something isn't going to change anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 6:48pm
Yes, my gf did think that her friend was rude and that she should not have been part of a conversation which did not involve her. Well she can accept her friend who was being loud but not for her best friend to be jumping on my back for something that doesnt concern her.

Now if you do choose to fight your own battles, would you not feel offended or concerned if your bf insulted your best friend or was being rude to her. I personally would not tolerate that but I do agree that choosing not to spend time with her is one way to resolve it.


Joe

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 6:53pm

Well, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be rude or offensive to the best friend, because then I'd be doing the exact same thing I'd complained of and that would be hypocritical!