Is he serious about us?
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Is he serious about us?
| Tue, 02-24-2004 - 3:52am |
My boyfriend of three months started off our relationship by asking me out - in his kitchen! He said he never "connected" with someone so fast (i felt the same) and had a gut feeling this could be "it". At the time, sitting pretty on the kitchen counter (i only got off to help him up when he got down on his knees) I had told him lets give it some time and "see how it goes."
BIG MISTAKE. I should have just accepted the proposal (Lord knows it doesnt happen everyday from someone you really like) and well, he did mention it over and over again till about two months into the relationship. He does still I think, have the same ideas but lately he has not been verbalizing it so much. At one point when it came up again, this time I too told him that he means very much to me and that i want to spend the rest of my life with him. We were supposed to discuss it in person (that was a phone conversation)..but we never did.
Now i'm left wondering, did I do the right thing? In my head at the time it was a logical thing, instead of jumping into a relationship THROUGH a wedding ring as it were, lets take it slow and find out more abo0t each other. But now that we DO know each other much better...isnt it time to sort of define the way things are going? Did I just invite him into a cozy situation where he gets to have the cake and eat it too?
We are sexually intimate. He is 30, I'm 26. and I know he's ready for a committment. But if he does not mention anything, should I worry? And how long should I wait before having this "chat". I dont ever want to force him, if its time that HE needs now. And I've heard time and again that by bringing up committment related topics, makes men hear the imaginary pop of a gun to start the race after which they are OFF like the wind. What should I DO??????
To complicate matters, we are both of different religions, same race. Both our religious backgrounds are such that family plays a very important role in determining the future partner of their offspring.
cONFUSED.
BIG MISTAKE. I should have just accepted the proposal (Lord knows it doesnt happen everyday from someone you really like) and well, he did mention it over and over again till about two months into the relationship. He does still I think, have the same ideas but lately he has not been verbalizing it so much. At one point when it came up again, this time I too told him that he means very much to me and that i want to spend the rest of my life with him. We were supposed to discuss it in person (that was a phone conversation)..but we never did.
Now i'm left wondering, did I do the right thing? In my head at the time it was a logical thing, instead of jumping into a relationship THROUGH a wedding ring as it were, lets take it slow and find out more abo0t each other. But now that we DO know each other much better...isnt it time to sort of define the way things are going? Did I just invite him into a cozy situation where he gets to have the cake and eat it too?
We are sexually intimate. He is 30, I'm 26. and I know he's ready for a committment. But if he does not mention anything, should I worry? And how long should I wait before having this "chat". I dont ever want to force him, if its time that HE needs now. And I've heard time and again that by bringing up committment related topics, makes men hear the imaginary pop of a gun to start the race after which they are OFF like the wind. What should I DO??????
To complicate matters, we are both of different religions, same race. Both our religious backgrounds are such that family plays a very important role in determining the future partner of their offspring.
cONFUSED.
Signatures On
| Tue, 02-24-2004 - 6:59am |
Im confused. Are you saying that he started your relationship by proposing to you? And are you saying you have been dating 3 months? If I got that all right, you need to get the focus off of getting married and just date. It is WAY TOO SOON to tell if you would want to marry this man and if he would want to marry you. You are just getting to know one another at this point. Also, I think the religion issue has to be closely examined as it plays an important role in both of your backgrounds. You cannot ignore such an issue as it will only be MORE important when and or/if you have children.
