to call or not to call??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
to call or not to call??
2
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 8:12pm
Hi all,

About two weeks ago I met a guy. We hit it off real well, talked everyday, saw eachother every couple of days. Most of the time it was him calling me up. See the thing is, I have this thing with calling guys...I hate doing it....i always feel like I am bothering them or something...I dont know why i think this, it's not like I feel bothered when he calls me! I mean i have dated guys for months and still had the absolute worst anxiety about calling them up.

Well anyways, I think that almost most of my relationships have ended because of this thing with calling that I have. I think that the guy starts to think that I am not interested ,which is not true at all, so then he just gives up.

I honestly think that this is one relationship that I dont want to end like this, because I am very interested. So last night I did call him since I havent heard from him since friday, no answer so i left a message. He still has yet to call back. Does anybody have suggestions on what i should do? Do I call again, or just wait for a call back?? Please help, I honestly feel my heart breaking again!! Thank you!

~Jess
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 8:29pm
Hi Jess. I am not an expert, but I would not call. You called once, he more than likely did get the message, and is busy doing something. And in my opinion, that heart breaking feeling will not go away with a second or third phone call that is not returned. If it's meant to be, he will call.

When the guy I am seeing doesn't call, I sometimes call once to let him know I am interested in talking, and usually leave a casual message, like "just trying to catch you, talk to you later." I never call a second time and as soon as I convince myself that it's over, he's dumping me, doesn't want to talk to me again, etc., I get a call back. It happens every time. I have not figured out how not to freak when more than 24 hours lapses between contact (seeing him, phone call, IM) but I never let HIM know I do that.

Seeming desperate never helps.

Jennie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 8:29pm
I wouldn't call again and in a new (less than 2 month) relationship I let the man do most of the calling and pursuing - and especially in the first few weeks I call usually only to call back and see the person once or twice a week, not more so that no one gets overwhelmed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 8:30pm
If you've only left one message, sure - call him again, no harm done. If he still doesn't return your call, then I'd wait to hear from him before calling again.