Excuse when he is not interested

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Excuse when he is not interested
4
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 4:33pm
I went on 4 dates with this guy I have been seeing for one month. Just recently...he told me that he found out that he has to pay for quite a bit of money to get very minor body work on his motorcycle done. Mind you, This repair was needed way before I started seeing him a month ago. Suddenly he tells me that he hopes I don't mind but he can't go out and has to stay in for awhile now because he has to save up for this...and won't be able to socialize. He giving me the brush off? Every bone in my being seems to be screaming....YES!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 4:42pm
Of course he is. It doesn't cost anything to spend time with someone. You could hang out, take a walk, go to a park or beach, watch TV, do any number of things without spending a red cent. If he was interested in getting to know you better and dating you, he'd do whatever he had to to make it happen even if he's broke.
Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 4:47pm
Others may not be as tough as I am; but if he is saying that he can't take you out on a "date" in the forseeable future, I'd write him off. Sounds like an excuse, and a lame one at that. I'm a huge motorcycle enthusiast myself, he is right- riding season is coming up and repairs are being scheduled by many bikers. BUT, you mean to tell me he can't see being able to take you out for a freaking milk shake or movie? I don't think so.

NOW- if this were a longer term, solid, loving relationship, I'd say cut him some slack for a short bit. He loves his machine, be understanding.

But it sounds to me as if he is trying to let you down easy- it's almost in a cowardly way.

**Disclaimer, this is only my humble opinion**

"Every bone in my being seems to be screaming....YES!"

.........then again, YOUR gut intuition always seems to be right............

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 4:59pm
My parents have been married 48 years today. He had no money when he dated my mother in the early 1950's - but they found a way to spend time together. If someone is sincerely interested in spending time with someone else, he/she will find a way and will suggest free/inexpensive things to do. He just is not that into you and you deserve someone who is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 5:18pm
I agree with the feeling in your "bones", and with everyone else who posted. It does sound like you're getting the brush off (sorry hon) But the REASON he is brushing you off is anyone's guess. It could very well be the money...he might see you as someone who "needs" to be wined and dined, and he doesn't want to spend that kind of money anymore. The more likely reason is, however, a lack of interest. Somewhere along the line he determined that you two are not a match, and he is backing off.

OK. All that means is that he's not the one for you. Keep moving on and you'll find someone who wants to spend lots of time with you, and he'll find a way to do it with what money he's got.