Should I ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Should I ask?
3
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 12:48am
A passive guy who I have known for 7 months said he owed me a dinner for helping him with a business connection. I was attracted to him when we first met but remained casual friends because we both just got out of a relationship and was not ready for a new relationship at that time. He's also really consumed with work plus his own side start-up business. I have sensed that he might have some interest in me or it could be he is just flattered by my interest. We've been in contact with one another all this time every now and then but mostly through e-mail. And we have hung out a few times since we met.

Lately, we have had less contact since he had mentioned the dinner thing. So,tired of waiting, I sent him an email and told him to call me if he wanted to hang out and catch up on things (this time I was brave and direct instead of beating around the bush like some people on this board have pointed out to me). He actually called me three days later and asked me to a movie. I accepted but instead of the movie, he took me out to dinner (sort of indirectly said that it was the dinner he owed me). The movie showing was too late for him. We had a nice friendly dinner.

I called him three days later to thank him for dinner and mentioned the movie. Instead of talking to him live, I got his voicemail and left him a message. I played the down movie thing by saying none of my friends wanted to see it and if he wanted to see it to give me a call. He hasn't called back. That was three days ago. I have tickets to an event I think he might be interested in and would like to ask him to join me. Should I call and ask him since he hasn't called back? The event is next Thursday and I don't want to wait for the last minute to ask him. Thanks for your thoughts.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ihope888
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 1:13am

I would not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ihope888
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 7:30am
Basically, you already asked him out once - since he never made specific plans with you - and you sent the transparent "thank you and I hope you ask me out again" voicemail - so i think the ball is definitely in his court and if he is truly interested he will call and ask you out on a date- take someone else to the event or go on your own - if he prioritizes his business over seeing you on a regular basis then you know he is not as interested in you as he is in growing his business - and why would you want someone who wasn't even interested enough to make the time to spend one evening with you once a week?
Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
In reply to: ihope888
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 3:00pm
I can't let you make a fool outta yourself- so I'm gonna yell.......DON'T DO IT!!! You already asked him out and he pretty much blew it off- are you a glutten for punishment? Look, rejection hurts, we've all gotten it from one person or another. Just swallow your pride and move on. He's not very interested in you. That's what dating is; sometimes you click, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you think that you clicked, and you wonder why the other person doesn't think that you clicked afterall.

You'll meet your match, but let this one slide if you don't hear from him.