GROWL 1971 Update! Ladies Advice Please.

Avatar for growl1971
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
GROWL 1971 Update! Ladies Advice Please.
5
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:09am
hey ladies,

alright, well i had my lunch date with her, and it went well. she

actually gave me her home phone number the day before and told

me to call her there, to set the time and place (she had appts

before lunch so timing was in flux).

she made a couple of comments during lunch that i didn't know

how to interpret. one was about life expectancy, saying that all

she really wanted in life was a black lab and that she'd be happy (

knowing that i have one!) she also made references as to her

being 'available' and 'on the market'. the reason i didn't know

how to take this is that i don't know if she was speaking in general

terms, or if she was trying to let me know something.

so, lunch ended, she told me how sweet i was to ask her to lunch,

and gave me a full hug goodbye.

later that night she sent me a short email to thank me again.

i replied and told her that it was great to actually sit with her and

talk, instead of our run ins here, there and everywhere unexpected.

and then i bantered with her a little bit in a kidding around manner.

so, here i stand, having gone after this woman for months, and

got her to go to lunch with me. she's a special girl, a diff't type.

very ambitious, sweet, responsible, and we have things in common.

i don't want to rush her, knowing she's just out of a 7 mo. relationship,

but at the same time, i don't want to act disinterested, or aloof.

i want to play this one diff't from what i've done in the past, meaning

i've typically rushed into things too early, and have ended up with

a busted relationship. i want to let her know i'm interested, but

i don't want to come off needy or clingy.

any advice?

Avatar for happychick01
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:29am















All I can say is take one day at a time with this lady since she just got of a realtionship and you don't want to be rebound person ( Trust me I have been several times and it never works out) I would continue to get to know her better and you can go on a date with her and let her make the 1st move on you - It sounds to me that she is interest in you if she is letting you know that she is on the market again for when I was not interest in a guy I would tell him that my heart is still healing from my break-up and Im not ready to be in a realtionship it sounds like she was letting you know that she is available and wants to get to know you better as well. Don't rush her or yourself into a realtionship I know you had a crush on her for several months but she is getting to know you still so take your time and you can ask her out again but just go with the flow- Lots of Luck to you!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:40am

Ask her on a REAL date (dinner, not lunch; pay for her, pick her up, etc)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 3:00pm
I think she's saying that she's "available for a relationship" - and that is pretty much all she's going to settle for -she won't be a dating liason with no "future" involved. And that she doesn't have a high maintenance lifestyle or needs....but in my experience - women who tell you they'll be happy with very littlein terms of possessions, positions or financial security - generally are NOT happy without excess in all those aspects.

They're reassuring you that "as you are" is just fine for right now....but improvement, expansion and accrual is required on your part in great amount over time if you're to keep up with the needs and demands she'll make.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

Avatar for growl1971
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 3:27pm
that's a pretty deep assesment on so little info!

all i was asking was with what i wrote and what she said, do you think she's giving me good signs or bad.




Edited 2/26/2004 3:28:44 PM ET by growl1971

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 4:45pm
I think she's just out of a relationship....some people take time to reassess their values, learn from that relationship the lessons there are to learn about themselves, take it forward into their next relationship. Those people generally don't date during that time - they're not needing "attention" - except from themselves regarding getting their life into a position that they're personally comfortable with in every regard.

Some people do NOT ever want to learn the lessons in the relationship, it wasall the other person's fault that it failed, they have a desperate need for distraction, attention, diversion and affirmation - and they'll do anything, be with anybody, in whatever context or venue it takes to get it.

I just don't know which she is. IF she's going out with you so quickly - I'd put her into the #2 paragraph category - meaning that "everything the other guy had wasn't enough, she wants to downgrade, simply, and "settle for a dog" as a "need" in a relationship - she likes your attention, will say whatever it takes to keep the positive vibes from you coming at her....who's to say.


Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com