will "taking a break" be the end?
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| Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:27am |
These are my major concerns: 1) I went right from one long term relationship into this long term relationship. I haven't been single since I was 16. I don't really feel like a know myself, if that makes any sence, and I would like time to do that. 2) our sex life has gone stale for me, and he gets upset with me when I say I'm not in the mood. 3) His mother is super controle freak and he gives in to her about verything...I don't know if I want to be in a marrige with her always in the wings. 4) Lately I have found myself more and more attracted to other guys.
So, after all that, my question is should we "take a break" from eachother, or should we try and work this out together? Some of my friends say "oh it's just that as relationships move along they change, and you can't expect the spark to stay forever". But we are only 22, and I feel like the parks should still be there. Am I just getting cold feet as the reality of marrige seems more real? Could we still be with eachother simply because we are too comfortable together to want to make the effort with new relationships? And despite everything, I think I really do love him I don't want him to think "a break" means breaking up for good. So, is a break the best idea at all? I am very confused and any ideas would be very helpful.

People change A LOT in the teen years and early 20s, and someone with whom you were compatible 3 years ago may have changed, or you may have changed, to the point where you have different values and goals. I am now 34 and I know that if I had married someone I met at 19, I would have divorced in no time b/c I now have nothing in common with the guy I dated at that age.
Btw, the fact that he doesn't stand up to his mother would be a problem for me too. It is somewhat understandable given his age, but still, he is an adult now.
I definetly agree with the others about still not knowing yourself. I was always told that if you're in love,you'll know when the right time to get married is. If you're having doubts,then you're just not ready for marriage. I'm the same age as you,and I feel that I want to live my life first before I ever settle down and get married. I think a break is the best thing for you right now,you should go out with your girlfriends and have fun and enjoy doing what you love doing or always wanted to do. If during this break another guy comes along who sweeps you off your feet,and you feel it's right,go for it. Nothing is ever written in stone. Just because you've been with your man for 3 years doesn't necessarily mean he's "the one". When you meet "the one",you'll know it(at least that's what everyone tells me).
My best friend started dating an older guy during high school,and being the only real relationship she's been in,she decided to marry him straight out of high school.She was dating him for 2 years before she got married. She is now going through her divorce and is dating someone else,all at the age of 21.I know soo many girls my age who have married,had kids,and now they're divorced or with someone else. My point is,when you're this young,it's hard to know exactly what you want.
Please,Please live your life now before you possibly regret it later.