NEED ADVICE : (

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
NEED ADVICE : (
4
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:41am
Hello :)

Need some advice here.. The first time I had any sexual experience after the ending of my eight year relationship with a man ... and it SUCKED :(

Not that I want to go crawling back to my ex... but I might after that...

This guy I met is great... he has a wonderful personality .. kinda cute.. we get along really well, and I am thinking that there's no way he will get better in bed .. IS THERE?

YIKES.. please gimme some advice, should I keep seeing him, because I do think he's a great guy, or do I make up some excuse of why I can't see him anymore??

Thanks,

sincerely,

K

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 11:56am
If you are the kind of person who would go crawling back to your ex so that you didn't have to be alone, then I would stop seeing this new man, who deserves someone who is with him out of desire, not need, or fear of being alone. I personally would give it a chance - did you have sex very soon? If the quality of the sex is that important to you and it has to be really good the first time, he is not the man for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 12:08pm
I really wouldn't go crawling back to my ex.. I think he's a great guy too but unfortunatly I had good reasons for leaving.

Yes we had sex fairly soon, like 2nd date.. I guess I'm not exactly proud of the fact that I was that easy.. I really dont think about being alone as a bad thing, I dont regret it either. I do think that the quality of sex is very important... maybe I should give him another chance, but, call me greedy, he didnt have that much to work with :(

p.s. thanks for replying and trying to help me ;)

-k

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 12:15pm
I just ended a 9-year marriage, the sex was always bad. It lasted only a few minutes, was never about me, and as it turns out, I really don't think my ex was attracted to me (maybe not to any women). He is a heck of a nice guy though.

If you enjoy sex, then for a relationship to be successful you need to enjoy sex with the person you are with.

Having said that, it depends on why it was bad. If he just has poor sex skills, then teach him how to please you. If he couldn't keep it hard or came right away, then I would seriously consider moving on. (Of course, those type problems can sometimes be solved but if he wanted to fix himself, he probably would have done it by now).

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 1:07pm
If his size or technique is more important to you than getting to know him as a person then he is probably not the one for you - I am sure many women would love to be with him and would not see him as a charity case. I don't think you're easy, you just expected sex with an almost stranger to be awesome which just means that you value sexual technique over the pleasure from sex that comes from knowing, bonding with and loving the other person. You're not greedy, you just have your priorities and you are entitled to them.