Why does my ex verbally attack me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Why does my ex verbally attack me?
3
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 4:15pm
I recently broke up with a guy I dated for six months and he said that I was not a challenge because he would purposely say and do things to see how far he could go and he said I would never fight back. Why would he want a challenge when we were already in a committed relationship? He said he wasn't as into it as I was, but all the time we spent together he was nothing but loving, and had all these plans for us to do things together. So finally I had to get rid of him, but could it be that he had someone else in the wings, waiting for him? Was this an easier way for him to get out of this relationship? HELP, I am confused and feeling bad about myself?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 8:50pm
Why are you feeling bad about yourself? Who cares what your EX thinks. He is no longer a factor in your life. Think about positive things about yourself and move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 9:58pm
You have to ask yourself why you put up with being a doormat and walking on eggshells - I have gone on first dates with men who were definitely testing me to see how far they could push me - I didn't find it challenging or interesting - I found it rude and would be concerned that they would behave the same way around my friends and family. That is a far cry from a man who sincerely likes challenging conversations but does so out of enjoying the banter and the conversation, not to test my limits in a rude or opinionated way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 10:15am
Who knows if he had someone else. It sounds like he was saying that you are a pushover.

And I am not suggesting that you are. It could be that your just non-confrontational. And he is used to fighting.

But you should not beat yourself up over this at all. Why should you feel bad that he was a jerk. People don't get along. That does not mean that you are a bad person or anything less. Did you like everyone that you dated ever? No.... does that mean that they were losers or pushovers? No, its strange what makes people click isn't it.

But I would like to know one thing? What kind of things do you think he is talking about when he says he would push you to see what you would do? Was he disrespectful in any way? Did he do unacceptable things that you accepted?

What does your judgement tell you?

And by the way... anybody that would just push you for the hell of it to see how far he could go... I mean really what does that say about him? j____ a____. Wish I could curse here.

Good luck... and write back