To Contact him or not???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
To Contact him or not???
2
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 11:09am
Ok, so here's my situation...

There is this one guy who I work with (its a pretty big company, so I don't work directly with him, he works on a different floor)....

Ever since I started here, I would always notice him when I was up on his floor- we would always catch eyes when I walked by his cube, very obvious that we both noticed each other.

Well, at our company holiday party back in December, we kept catching eyes again, we ended up being introduced towards the end of the night. We hit it off all night long and he ended up coming back to my place afterwards. We only kissed, but he ended up staying over.

There was no awkwardness in the morning, we just kept joking about how drunk we were the night before, etc....

Well, when I next saw him next at work, it definitely WAS awkward, like I didn't quite know what to say to him. We talked for a minute or so, but you could tell things were a little awkward.

So a few months went by and I never heard from him. Out of the blue, I decided to email him (last Friday), just to say hello and to see if he wanted to meet up with me that night when I went out with my friends.

He ended up calling me that night and we made plans to meet up at the bar. Him and his friends met me out later and we hit it off once again. I went back to his place and stayed over. Once again, nothing happened, we only made out. The next morning, he took me out to breakfast and we hung out for awhile during the day. We had such a great time together, so much to talk about and I felt completely comfortable with him, like I didn't even have to try. We were constantly joking with each other, making each other laugh, it was great. From the looks of things, one would never have thought there to be ANY awkwardness whatsoever back at work.

Well, the thing is, he has not called me since. (Its been a week). I've been somewhat nervous to go and say hello to him, mainly because he has not called or emailed me at all this week. I saw him once this week when I walked by his desk and I said hello for a brief second (someone else was there talking to him about work stuff).

I can take a clue, and it seems to me like he really isn't interested, otherwise he would have called me right? But then I kept thinking, why would he take me out to breakfast the next day? He could just have easily driven me home, said he had to be somewhere, etc. And we barely hooked up, so its not like he was being the "typical guy" who doesn't call afterwards.....

Should I give it one more shot and stop by and say hello? I just don't want to seem like I'm throwing myself at him though, especially since things have been so awkward in the work setting....I'd love to go out with him again, but I also wish he would make the next move since I made the first one by sending him that email.

Any thoughts on what I should do? I hate to overanalyze, but for some reason I'm kinda nervous about this whole thing, and I hate awkward situations, as anyone does I'm sure. But especially since its in the workplace....

Anyone??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 11:22am
Here is MHO:

When overanalyzing this, put more weight on the fact that he has not contacted you after each of your encounters than on the fact that he took you to breakfast.

If he wanted to go out with you, he could call you, email you, or stop by and see you and ask. The fact that he is not doing those things cannot be ignored and definitely means you should not pursue him. You shouldn't have to encourage him to want to go out with you. You can only control what you choose to do and the only choices he has left you with are 1) pursue him like a dog chasing a bunny or 2) be cool and do not contact him. I think you can never loose with choice #2, and will likely never win with choice #1.

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anonymous user
Fri, 02-27-2004 - 8:29pm
Yah i agree.. He has many opotions if he wanted to contact you. A week is a farily long time. I would prolly drop him and try to move to the next. there are plenty of fish in the sea right??? And plus work situations always end up in akward situations!! So its better to end it sooner then later.

Good luck hun