SHOULD I CALL ? OR WAIT??!!! HELP
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| Fri, 02-27-2004 - 4:55pm |
So i met this boy a few months back and we hung out a few times but we only ever hangout late at nite because we are both so busy and we never end up making plans till about 11 at night so we usally just watch movies or talk and hang out.
So he has been out of town for about 2 weeks and got home last night (thurday) at bout 11.. BUT wed night he text message me saying he was coming home thurs and wanted to see me and that he would call when he got home. Sooo when thursday came i was on MSN and he came on and we began to talk and he said that he wanted to do something but was sooo tired and lazy that he just going to stay home. So we were talking on msn , and i said that i porlly ownt see him for a long time, and he said that he will see me this weekend, and i explianed to him that i had plans already and he was like I will see you saturday at the bar (we both have plans to go to the same bar) and i said i would be there with my two firends and plan to stay with them all night. Then he was all like well you can sneak away from them for a bit to come see me. And i said maybe. Then near the end of the convo he was like call me tomorrow after work and well maybe but i think i am staying in tomorrow, and he said 'i dont care phone me okay.. you never phone me, so its your turn' ........NOW NOW heres the problem i dont know if i should phone,, is that to clingy if i phone??? And the other times that i have phoned him he never answer cause its to noisy where he is... and i have no idea if this guy actually likes me or is playing head games!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!! should i call or wait and see him saturday night at the bar?????

"And the other times that i have phoned him he never answer cause its to noisy where he is..."
So I assume you have been calling him at his job? And now you want to know if you should call him at home, or would that be considered "clingy?" Well, from what you have posted, he was very insistent that you call him. So I don't see how you making one call to his home could possibly be considered "clingy." But here's the thing: you make ONE call and leave a message on his v-mail. Then you wait for him to return your phone call. If he doesn't get back to you, it's his loss, and you move on.
Nobody said you should NEVER call a man, if that's what you want to do. It's perfectly fine to return a guy's phone calls, to call because you said you would, or, you call every once in a while just to say "hi." Those kinds of phone calls aren't "pursuing"... they are just being polite and friendly. You can't have a friendship if one person is making ALL the effort and the other person is just coasting along, doing all the receiving.
What I DON'T do (and others may disagree with me) is call and ask a man out. And I don't call a man to thank him for a first date. The way I was raised, the gentleman calls to thank the lady for that first evening. After that, I still let the man do most of the calling and almost ALL the asking for dates. (That seems to be how men prefer it.. they want to pursue) But after we've been out several times, I usually feel comfortable enough that I can approach HIM with an idea for a date.
So go ahead and call the guy. He has done his part by calling you and asking you to call him. The only way you will know whether he's sincere is to call and see how he reacts.
Good luck.
Me and this guy met about 2 months ago, and he was sending mix signals liek crazy!! One day he would be like 'o like you and want to see' and then next night would barley say two words to me. So i was sooo confused and he always seemed to call at like3 or 4 in the morning!! So i asked for advice from my friends and they all said i should play hard to get... like dont make myself so available to him as much as i do. SOo then just yesterday when i he got home, i decided to try that. So last night when he was all like call me call me i dont know if i should call him and say whats up, or if i should just text him and say hey, whats up, i am doing ___ tongiht or if i should wait till tomorrow and see how things go once we are in person.
Also i feel my priority are just fine!!! I work monday - friday so the weekends are my time for myself and seeing my firends that i dont see all week. Me and this boy arent anything.. we are just getting to know one another so why would i put him above my friends.. who i have been friends with for years????? They come first! and as for me going to the bar that is what i found fun at this time in my life And its not like i go ther every friday and saturday.. i go maybe every other saturday.. and i dont even drink all the time!!! I am very happy in my life, and with where it is going. All i wanted to know what if i should call this guy tonight or wait and see him tomorrow. I am not looking for a serious relationship with him, just to have some fun before i leave my hometown forever!!!!
but thanks anyways
My suggestion - find an interest - whether it's working backstage for the college theater, a sport, hiking, yoga, a musical instrument, the debate team - and meet new people who don't just congregate at bars - you are more likely to make friends that way who you can grow with because you will have a common interest other than bars and gossip - go to the bars once a month or less and find other things to do - it will make you a more interesting person and you can expand your social circle. Just two cents from an old lady of 37.