I have 2 MAJOR problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
I have 2 MAJOR problems
4
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 10:06pm
ok this is a major dating fiasco week. 2 big problems, nothing going right:

1)On St. Patrick's Day I went to my favorite pub and met the most amazing guy. He walked me home and stayed over. We cuddled and kissed all night but nothing serious "happened." He was incredibly respectful and I really got the feeling there was something there, even though we had met in a bar. So the next morning before he left for work, we exchanged numbers, promised to see each other soon. He made me promise I would call him. I did friday night and he hasn't called back yet. I can't give up on this so I am calling again sometime this week for the last time. I need advice on what to say and if calling twice is incredibly pathetic or not.

2) a few months ago, I met a guy on a plane. He is much too old for me and I found him pretty dorky. He flirted incessantly and finally managed to get my IM screenname out of me. He IM's me every once in a while- sometimes I ignor him and sometimes I politely but aloofly respond. Well tonight I decided to be polite and he asked me out to dinner on friday night. I don't want to go but I am incapable of turning someone down. I know I have made my bed, but I could really use some advice on how to get through the date.

thanks,

buggie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 6:36am
Don't call the guy again - i don't even call once if a man has my number after a first date (and you haven't even had one date with him) when he has my number. Give me a break. You take the risk of making a less than ladylike impression by inviting a stranger back to your place - better to say no and have him call and ask you out on a proper date.

Guy number two - make up an excuse and block his IM's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 10:25am
Guy number 1 - you can and should give up on this. It is pathetic to call twice - you gave him your number when you met AND left him a message. He knows how to contact you but he has chosen not to. Let it go. You met, had fun, and that is apparently all he was looking for.

Guy number 2 - You ARE capable of turning someone down. "No, thank you." "I'm flattered but I don't think that's a good idea." Simple, to the point, and polite.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 11:10am
You met Guy #1, brought him home and let him spend the night. THAT's the problem, in my book. It is dangerous to let a stranger into your home, much less get into bed with him. You are lucky he was not a maniac. I would NOT call him again. You've already called once, and now it's his "turn" to return your call. Perhaps he thought there was going to be sex, since you let him come home with you that first night. He might have lost interest since he didn't "score." But regardless, neither of you owes the other anything now. If he doesn't call, so what? Move on.

As to Guy #2, the next time he emails or IMs, why not politely tell him you're sorry but you're not interested? If he continues to contact you, then you should block his name.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 11:49am
Just to clarify and defend my actions a little...I do realize it was a pretty stupid thing to do. But it felt so weird, I couldn't stand the thought of saying bye yet. I had a long walk home and I figured it would be a good idea to have him walk me. I didn't expect him to stay, and he didn't expect to stay either, it just happened. I'll never do something that dumb again, but it was still just a weird experience.