What do I do now? Do I take him back?
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What do I do now? Do I take him back?
| Sun, 03-21-2004 - 11:55pm |
So, my boyfriend of about a little over a year broke up with me about a month ago. We had broken up before because we were fighting, got back together-worked on things and they were great. He was talking about future ect... So when he broke up with me this last time it was really a shock. His reasoning was that it wasn't what he needed in his life. A month passes and he wants to get back together with me now. Saying that he's been fighting himself this whole month and thought that this was what he wanted and now realizes that he doesn't want to live his life without me in it. I mean I couldn't believe my ears. It's like is this guy completely insane or have I lost my mind? How do you go from not wanting it in your life, not calling, no real explanation to- oh, I want you back now and we have to try and make things work out? This doesn't make any sense at all to me. Why would you break up in the first place or why come back? When we were together he said he loved me and broke up with me, should I even dare to trust this guy again? He also adds that he loves me so much and never wants to cause me any kind of pain again, and wants to do whatever it takes to make this work. I just don't see how you can make it work when you left it so easily to begin with. What so you could do it again? Please, if any of you have some words of wisdom for me they would be greatly appreciated!

I think after a year together he does owe you an explanation as to why he felt you were not "what he needed in his life." What has changed in his life to make him believe you ARE what he needs? I would not accept him back without a very serious conversation about these things. And you must also consider what it is about him that makes him someone you need in YOUR life.
Then, if you decide to try again, make sure you take it slow. Date him but let him know that things will not just pick up where they left off. Make him prove to you that he really wants a committed relationship. I would avoid sex with him for at least a couple of months. That will help you protect your own heart and feelings, while it will be an indication that he is sincere. But understand, there are never any guarantees. This guy could walk out again. That's the risk you take in any relationship. The odds are GREATER that this particular guy will hurt you again, since he has done it before.
It's up to you to decide if he's worth the risk. Sorry, that's all I can offer. Good luck.
Am I reading your post correctly...he's done this to you *twice* already?
Why would you even consider