Should I move or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Should I move or not?
3
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 12:44pm
I'm not really sure if this is the appropriate board for this or not since it involves work, relationships, and just life itself.

I'm recently divorced and in my early thirties with no children. I'm not ready yet for a serious relationship, but I have started dating again, letting anyone I go out with know that I'm not ready for a committed relationship yet.

Anyway, about six months ago, I started dating a man who lives near me. I care for him a great deal but don't really see myself ever having a long lasting relationship with him. About three months ago, while visiting my family in another area of the state (about 4 hours away), I met a man, who I really like and feel that I could have a long lasting relationship with.

Long before I met either man and shortly after my divorce, I began considering moving back to the area where all of my family lives, just so I could have the support and love of them. However, I stalled on actually making the move because I have the best job in the world where I currently live. The work is challenging and fun, the pay is good, and the people I work with are nice. However, other than my job and my one male friend in the area, I don't have much else in terms of friends and absolutely no family.

My big debate now is where should I put my concentration: work/career or family/relationships? I do want child/children, and I'm in my early thirties, so I'm starting to feel the pressure to make that the more important area of my life. Should I look for a job in the area where my family/male friend live or stay put? I've tried making a list of positive/negatives of each, and it is not providing me any clarity.

Thanks!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:49pm

Aside from the lack of friends there currently (which can be changed), do you LIKE where you live?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 7:16pm
I guess it just depends where your priorities lie. What do you want more - a great job or to be closer to your family and maybe start one of your own? But it is hard to find a really good job...and who says you can't find someone who is marriage material where you're living now (if you want to get remarried, that is)? The only thing is that jobs end, and families are forever. But who's to say that this guy is the one for you? I'd say base your decision to move or not to move more on your family and being in closer proximity to them. Go with your heart. Good luck.

-Goose

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 10:03pm
What are the job prospects in the town where your family lives? What do you think the romantic prospects are like in both towns?