Don't know what to do!
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Don't know what to do!
| Tue, 03-23-2004 - 9:09am |
Hi,
my problem is very difficult maybe if I get someone else's opinion it would help a lot.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 10 months. It has been a rollercoaster ride because, in my opinion, we are not compatible. We are both veeerrrrrrrrrrryyyyy stubborn. I think that's what ruins the relationship. But what keeps us together is the fact that we love each other very much and we comfort and support each other through thick and thin. But there is a problem.
From the very beginning of our relationship he told me that he used to be a player and he has had many, many women. He also tells me that every woman at his job is crazy about him but he turns them away because he tells them he has me.
He has lied to me a lot about petty things, but he has never cheated on me (or so i think) he doesn't go out with friends during the weekend, he doesn't get phone calls, he doesn't have a beeper or cell, and he's never late from work. I know it makes me look very insecure, and maybe that's just my problem, but my bf is very handsome and sexy and i see how other women look at him right in front of me!
I have a lot of mixed feelings about him because everyday he tells me how i should consider myself lucky for having him as my boyfriend. he also tells me that everytime he has lunch women throw themselve at him.
I know these have to be lies because although he's good looking he's not Brad Pitt.
Honestly, I don't trust him or any man for that matter. i have not had any problems in the past, I have never been cheated on, lied to yes but not cheated on.
I don't know what's the matter with us. I don't know if he says all that because he's very insecure of himself. I am a college student and everyone is always telling me how far i'm going to go in life. He has not even graduated high school and he is striving to start a business.
my problem is very difficult maybe if I get someone else's opinion it would help a lot.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 10 months. It has been a rollercoaster ride because, in my opinion, we are not compatible. We are both veeerrrrrrrrrrryyyyy stubborn. I think that's what ruins the relationship. But what keeps us together is the fact that we love each other very much and we comfort and support each other through thick and thin. But there is a problem.
From the very beginning of our relationship he told me that he used to be a player and he has had many, many women. He also tells me that every woman at his job is crazy about him but he turns them away because he tells them he has me.
He has lied to me a lot about petty things, but he has never cheated on me (or so i think) he doesn't go out with friends during the weekend, he doesn't get phone calls, he doesn't have a beeper or cell, and he's never late from work. I know it makes me look very insecure, and maybe that's just my problem, but my bf is very handsome and sexy and i see how other women look at him right in front of me!
I have a lot of mixed feelings about him because everyday he tells me how i should consider myself lucky for having him as my boyfriend. he also tells me that everytime he has lunch women throw themselve at him.
I know these have to be lies because although he's good looking he's not Brad Pitt.
Honestly, I don't trust him or any man for that matter. i have not had any problems in the past, I have never been cheated on, lied to yes but not cheated on.
I don't know what's the matter with us. I don't know if he says all that because he's very insecure of himself. I am a college student and everyone is always telling me how far i'm going to go in life. He has not even graduated high school and he is striving to start a business.

my thoughts on this... first of all you keep saying how cute he is, is there anything else that you are attracted to about him?? looks fade over the years, accidents can happen, will you still love him when the looks are gone?? you need to think this through, why are you insecure about this relationship? there had to be something that has happened somewhere aometime to make you second guess this. is it the fact that he was/is a player? just because of his past you shouldn't judge your relationship now! if he's not giving you a reason to suspect don't drive yourself crazy wondering! just because girls look at him doesn't mean anything!!! i look at guys all the time, even when they are with a girlfriend, but most girls now they can look, but to keep their distance. i wouldn't worry to much unless they walk right up and give him their #, then you nay have a problem, unless he 1)says no thanks or 2) tosses the # in the nearset trash can! do you want to spend forever with this guy? do you want to doubt and wonder all the time? you need to talk to him if you seriously are having issues of trust, maybe there is something that can be done. and if you do stay with him, please, don't give up ambitions, and your future for this guy! finish college get a great job, know you can take care of yourself. i wish you luck in this, and i hope that if you truly love each other that things will work and you will be together forever!! and don't rush, you're still young!!
Beyond that, it sounds like a lot of drama. And you say he lies and you don't think you are compatible. Why stay and get further entwined with him? I know you said you love him, but it just doesn't sound like a very happy or healthy relationship for you.