What does he want?
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| Wed, 03-24-2004 - 8:43am |
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A few months ago I was introduced to this great guy through a mutal friend. We hit it off instantly, however both of us really wanted to take it slow because both of us had been cheated on by a previous significant other. For each of us, it was a devastating experience, so it's safe to say, both of us were hesitant in getting into something serious. We both agreed to take things slow. After going on a few dates, we realized we had so much in common, we were able to talk to each other about anything, and both of us agreed that even though we'd known each other for only a little while, we felt like we'd known each other forever. We did not become intimate, because we were testing the waters and both of us had some confidence issues in that department - we were just enjoying getting to know each other and flirting around. After a few more dates, he got scared because things were starting to get a little more serious. Finally he told me that he really didn't feel he was ready to give 100% to a relationship and that I deserved someone who could. He told me he was very attracted to me, respected me and valued what we had, but was still bitter from his past break up. Safe to say I was disappointed, but I understood. So I thought, too bad, this could have been something good and now I'll probably never speak to this guy again. Then surprise, two weeks later he calls me out of the blue and we have a great chat. We got to the point of talking once or twice a week and the conversations keep getting longer and longer. I'm not sure what is going on - whether we are building some sort of trust or just working on a friendship. I'd say it was just friends, but there is alot of subtle flirting going on. What is going on here and what does he want?

I would say it is obvious that he really wants to have something with you whether it be a friendship or a relationship. Why don't you start off as just friends right now and let your relationship grow naturally and slowly. He wouldn't have called you out of the blue if he didn't want something with you, but at the same time I think as you put it he needs to build trust with you. Why not start off as his friend right now and let it grow into something more.