Could it really be LOVE (gulp) !?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Could it really be LOVE (gulp) !?
3
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 2:21pm
Prince Charming and I have now been dating for 3 months. We got to know each other via an on-line dating service for about a month prior to that.

About one month into dating, we agreed to see each other exclusively. No regrets about that at all. Now our pattern is to usually spend the weekend together and then one weeknight date per week.

Things have been absolutely wonderful - we clicked from the get-go. He's considerate, caring, honest and dependable. I realize that it is still early on in our relationship: we're still in the honeymoon, really getting to know you phase. Plus we live about 40 miles apart and both lead busy and fulfilling lives.

Last weekend he dropped the L bomb! I was totally shocked. He caught on to my surprise right away and then asked if I was going to 'freak out'. LOL I told him I was cool with it, it just caught me off guard.

We went out last night and talked about this again. He apologized for catching me off guard and admitted that it was probably too soon to have said this. He went on to say that he cares a great deal about me, thinks about me a lot, is happy with 'us' and enjoys spending time with me. All of these equal loving me (in his opinion).

My questions are: Is what he described love?

Is it possible to be in love after 3 months of dating?

I know that he's looking for a serious long-term relationship / marriage. He's 31 and settled in his career as a physician. He's not a player.

Has anyone been in similar situations? Have they worked out?

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 2:28pm

I think my ex-husband told me he loved me about three months into it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 2:32pm
Thank you Sheri. I tend to agree with you - I've been questioning if it's possible to love someone when you really can't know them all that well.

I guess I'm just worried that this might be a red flag...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 2:57pm
Three months is a *little* soon to know whether you're in love with someone. But from what you describe, it doesn't sound like red flag time, to me. And I say that because of the positive things you said about him, and because he was the one to acknowledge that it he might have jumped the gun in saying the L word. Perhaps it's really the way he feels. It's not impossible.

One of my "tests" is to ask a man WHY he loves me. I have been involved with men who professed love very, very early in the relationship, but they could not tell me with any depth what it was that they loved so much about me. They would struggle to think and then all they managed to say were a few superficial things.. like they liked my looks and the fact that I was nice to them! These were men who I found were just in love with the idea of being in love. I could have been ANYBODY... I just came along at the right time, showed enough interest in them, and had a few physical attributes they liked. I did not find that flattering at all, and needless to say, I didn't stay with them.

You could try this approach if he says the L word again. Of course it's not foolproof, but it would be interesting to hear his response, no?

And the best of luck to you in this blossoming relationship! I'm happy for you....