Can this work????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2004
Can this work????
2
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 3:15pm
I could use some advice.....15 years ago I stopped dating B even though he was absolutely wonderful because I felt he was too "old" for me....he was 42 and I was 25. My mom ran into him at a birthday party a couple of months ago and he asked her to fill him in on my life. She told him that I was doing really well, I was single and I had a 7 year old daughter. She had to leave soon after and wasn't able to give him my number----which she felt he wanted from the way he was talking about me. I was able to get his address and I sent him a card asking him to call so we could catch up. We have since talked several times and last week he drove up (2.5 hours) to take me to dinner.....we had a fabulous time and it was as if the years had melted away, except for one thing....I no longer felt he was "too old". He flattered me by not only keeping a shirt I had purchased for him all those years ago, but wearing it!! The chemistry was there, the things in common, etc. I told him I had grown up and wanted to date him....he responded by telling me he didn't know if he could date me because I have a child!! Although he had been married, he doesn't have any children. When we parted, he said he would give it the consideration it is due and let me know....Is there any advice that may help other than "wait and see?" I believe we met again because we are supposed to be together....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 8:40pm
I don't think there is anything you can do, to be honest. He will make his decision. By my math he is now 57 and maybe at this point in his life he is looking forward to retirement and travel and isn't willing to be tied down with a young child. Then again, maybe he will decide he is. But he has to make that decision on his own.

If I were you, I would assume you won't be hearing from him again and move on.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 8:12am
Speaking as a single mother - I think I'd be very put off by a man that didn't want to date me because of my child. I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to date someone with children, but I would think that though he could possibly come to terms with that and want to date you, in the back of my mind, I'd always be worrying and wondering about how he perceived my child - as in getting in the way/robbing him of his time with you, etc, etc.

Really, as nice as your date was, I'd find somebody more compatible in terms of where they are in their life. This man is probably getting ready to retire and does not want the added responsbility of considering the needs of a child.

Coolas