is he angry or still in love

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
is he angry or still in love
6
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 4:18pm
I have just started dating this guy and we have a great time together. Since our first date we have either been together or talked on the phone everyday. He is really nice. Both of us have just gotten out of bad relationships and just started to date again. Anyways, sometimes when we are talking he will get off on talking about is ex. Always bad stuff but..... He usually figures out that he has made me somewhat uncomfortable and stops pretty quick but I just don't know what to think. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

bd1

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 8:16pm
That would be a HUGE red flag to me. Partly because he is talking about his ex so much early on with you - that suggests that he is not over her - and even moreso b/c he badmouths her to you. After you and he break up, he is going to be badmouthing YOU to his next gf. Have you ever heard that you shouldn't badmouth your current/former bosses in a job interview? Same principle applies here.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 9:37am
I tend to agree with you. I was just going to see if most feel the same. I am still going to date him from time to time but take it slow. We really have a great time together but I am going to keep me guard up. Sometimes I think that he is saying those things to make sure that I know what upsets him because he will say things like "when she would do ___ (whatever) it would really piss me off. Then he will start talking about something else. Anyways, thanks for confirming my thoughts.

bd1

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 10:10am
Okay, let's assume that you're right about why he does it. Do you really want to be with someone who cannot communicate directly about what he wants/doesn't want? Who will expect you to interpret his complaints about exes and act accordingly?


Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 10:14am
was it an ex wife or ex gf? how long since their split?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 11:34am
Angry or still in love? You know it could be both. Everyone goes through an angry stage after a break up...that may be what you are witnessing if he's not yet over her. Be careful with this one. You may find yourself being rebound girl, which I'm sure is not a position you want to put yourself in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 03-25-2004 - 1:14pm
ex gf - they have been broke up about 2 or 3 months.

I think that you guys are probably right for the most part. We went out last night for a little while and nothing at all was said so I am just going to be careful. I am very aware that I could be the rebound girl and I am not sure that I care. I just got out of a long term (really bad) relationship so maybe he is my rebound guy. I just want to be ready for whatever comes my way.

bd1