I am in love with my best friend.
Find a Conversation
I am in love with my best friend.
| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 7:52am |
Help!!! I am in love with my best friend, and I do not know if I can tell him? I hear everyone say that "if you are best friends then there is no problem telling him." Well, here it is, I have accually been in love with him sense the first time we meet.
I have been told that great relationships start out with friendship, but when do you go from friendship to relationship? And now he is moving out of state for a new job and I am in pure agony. I want him to succeed and be happy, but I am so afraid that he will find someone there, and everything will be over. I need to tell him, but how?! When?! Help!!
I have been told that great relationships start out with friendship, but when do you go from friendship to relationship? And now he is moving out of state for a new job and I am in pure agony. I want him to succeed and be happy, but I am so afraid that he will find someone there, and everything will be over. I need to tell him, but how?! When?! Help!!

I'd say there's a fair chance he won't be too surprised.
I met my best friend when I was 15 yrs old. Now I look back and I really believe I fell in love with him the 1st time I laid eyes on him. He was even younger than I was, but there was just something about him. In the beginning of us meeting we always thought there could be something, but we remained friends. I went 4 yrs with a broken heart as he dated another girl. I wanted to stay close to him and not be a threat to her so I just called myself his "sister." HUGE MISTAKE! He really began to look at me as a sister. We have stayed pretty close and always in my heart I knew we would end up together. He is always telling me how beautiful I am or what I hottie I am. etc. I can't tell you how many times I've told him how I feel about it, he jokes it off or just tells me, "you're like a sister to me." Last year I had to realize it is never going to happen and I should be lucky to have his as my best friend. It has been 9 yrs since I first fell in love with him. I had to realize I couldn't put my life on hold forever for him. I've seen a lot of best friens lose each other, because they mistake the closeness as being in love with each other or having strong feelings that is a strong bond or friendship. Then again I've seen a lot of best friends turn into more. All of you make sure that your feelings are the real deal, just not mistaken friendship closeness. You do only live once and I would never have known about him until I told him. Your best bet is to approach it where you can keep him as a friend. "I think I might have feelings for you." That way if he get's freaked out or say, "I don't think so." You don't lose him for good. You can just tell him you were confused, work on it and move on to where you can stay friends. Everytime I told "my guy" he pulled away big time and I missed him so much and regretted it. GOOD LUCK!!!! I hope this helps so your heart isn't completely broken!!
The first one happened in my senior year of high school. My best friend and I had always played the games with each other (he would like me one year, I would like him the next) and we never really got together. (Now, mind you I had know him since 1st grade). Well, in our senior year I finally decided to tell him how I felt. Unfortunately, at the time he was dating another girl - but I knew I couldn't let this chance pass by. Well, he never really answered me as to how he felt - but let's just say he's married to her and we really don't talk anymore. Yes, a lot of this could have been the 'leaving high school thing' - I went to college, he didn't, etc. I am just curious to see how the reunion will turn out?? The worst part for me was losing my best friend.
My second story has to do with the guy I am dating now. I first met him about 5 years ago and we became really good friends. I kind of hinted around the subject when I first met him, but nothing happened, so we just remained friends. About a year ago we started hanging out more, he came to my job when I had just started bartending (which really surprised me). The one night we were hanging out watching a movie and he dropped the bomb on me - he had liked me for the past 3 years! I was totally blown away. After thinking about everything, I let my fears get the best of me and told him that I thought we were better off remaining friends. He understood - but was disappointed no doubt. Well, we went through this really akward stage of not talking to each other - to uncomfortable and all. For the next 6 months, I kept second guessing myself - was this really want I wanted. One day I finally made the decision to talk to him about it - realizing what I wanted - him in my life as more than a friend. We've been dating now for almost 4 months and things are amazing!
So basically, I say take the chance and tell him what you feel. Even if he doesn't feel the same way, if you are truly good friends - you should be able to work through this -the akwardness and all. And then again - if you don't say anything, you may run the risk of never hearing him tell you that he likes you too!