Shy? Uninterested? What Do I Do? Help!!!
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 2:57pm |
The subject of interest is a fellow ("Ben") in one of my classes. I have spoken to him several times about the class we share and the professor. We never have introduced ourselves to each other, however (though I have learned his name). When we have talked it has always been when we were alone either in the hallway before or after class or waiting in the classroom for others to arrive. When others have shown up, he has clammed up. He will say "hello" to me if we are alone, and I have managed to get actual conversation out of him several times, but when others come he immediately gets quiet. I have tried to draw him into conversations that I have with the others, especially if it is something I have spoken to him about or I think he would be interested in, but he never takes the bait.
I am also unsure of our "flirting." I have never actively flirted on purpose and have never noticed the flirting that (I've been told) is directed toward me. "Ben" and I both laugh at the same jokes, and most times we share "looks" while laughing. He will look right at me and I will look back and smile. He usually looks away after a second or two, or I will look away. We also share these "looks" during the non-funny parts of class. Generally I will look at him, or he at me, and we will keep eye contact for a second or two before looking away or we will look away when the other one looks.
I have noticed him for a couple of months now and would like to "make a move," but am usure of how to go about this, or even if I should go about it. I have not had an opportunity to really converse with him in a couple of weeks, and the one time I tried, I was interrupted by a friend. "Ben" watched, as we walked down the hall, seeming to realize that I wanted to talk to him. He looked over at me several times as I tried to walk with him, waiting, it seemed, for me to talk to him. When we finally got away from the interruptor, I felt awkward talking to him as I did not know how to treat the interruption. I have not had the opportunity to talk to him since then, though I have done everything to try to "help" the opportunity arise.
I am unsure of where to go from here. My roommate said that I should go up to him and just say "hey, I like you, want to hang out some time?" but I would feel odd doing that. My mother said to find a topic (such as books, as he always is reading) to talk to him about and to then move that conversation into other things. The problem with that is that 1) I would feel slightly awkward letting him know that I notice so much about him and 2) we never have the opportunity for a conversation long enough for the "method" to work.
Please, if you have any advice or interpretations of the "signals," let me know. I am in desperate need of some "love advice."
| Sat, 05-29-2004 - 11:52pm |
| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 7:44pm |

| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 7:46pm |

