am i a bitch for this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
am i a bitch for this?
2
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 5:50am
ok, i was dating my bf for nearly a year. things were starting to go downhill, then i started to fall for my best guy frend. my best guy frend also started falling for me. we both decided to break this to our current significant others. his current gf was upset, but she moved on rather quickly cuz they hadnt been going out long. my bf however didn't take it well at all. i broke his heart.... but he was not the way i wanted my relationship to be..... if that makes any sense. i found out that my ex has been real depressed, and he cried the nite i broke it off with him..... i feel like such a bitch. am i one? or am i overreacting?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 9:22am
no your not a bitch for breaking up with a guy! you knew it wasn't what you wanted, so why should you feel like that? i understand feeling bad because you hurt his feelings, but oh well! how many guys have broke up with you? how many times have you cried over some guy? he needs to move on!! if he wanted to be friends that would be ok, but you should let him know that thats all that is going to happen. i understand you are concerned about his feleings and his happiness, but what about yours?? would you have stayed with him forever just because you didn't want to hurt him??? good luck on your new relationship!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Fri, 03-26-2004 - 10:33am
I think you did the right thing by breaking up with your ex when you realized things weren't working. I don't think it is doing someone a favor to stay in a relationship that isn't working and isn't going anywhere. And it's good that you ended that relationship before starting the new one.

Did you tell your ex about the new guy? If so, you really shouldn't have. Breaking up with him really should be about your relationship with him and what's wrong with it - not about some new guy you want to date. If you tell someone you're leaving them for someone else, it just makes them feel like you have been staying with them until the next guy comes along, so you won't have to be alone, and no one wants to feel like that.