why cant i be happy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
why cant i be happy?
3
Sat, 03-27-2004 - 9:34pm
ok heres my story. I have 2 daughters ages 3 and 6.I was with my youngest daughters father for about 4 years untill jan 12 2004 when i met scott.I lost feelings for art (the father) a while ago and i had been checking out other guys.Then one night i got a call from scott while i was at work. He asked me out on a date.It had to be the best day in my life. Well about 2 days after i met scott i kicked art out.I fell really hard for scott. He did like to drink though almost every night. He isnt a violent person so i never really worried about it. Well about 2 weeks ago he got mad because i wouldnt go to a party so he left me. Then i got thinking about how financialy my life was better with art so i took him back. Now 2 weeks later i run into scott. I fell for him all over again. I know with everything i love that i dont love art anymore. My feelings have not changed since hes been back. Im not sexually attracted to him at all. I find myself thinking about scott all the time as you can see. He does want me back but i dont know what to do. I dont want to hurt art again but i know i want to be with scott.Ive been seeing him at my work the past few nights and i get so happy when hes around. Please i really need some advice here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 9:31am
Don't you think your children deserve a role model of a parent who would not be with a man just for his money or be with a man who has a drinking problem? The message you want for your children is "well if he drinks a lot it's ok as long as he's not violent and if you love someone but could be more financially secure with someone else who loves you but who you don't love, just bounce back and forth between the two men so you can be financially provided for and have hot sex too - whether or not the men get hurt really doesn't matter - just make sure you are sexually satisfied and financially secure even if it takes two men - and taking turns with them- to accomplish that. Oh and don't worry about having children without marrying the father - so long as there is financial security and you can find someone to use for that."

Think about it - if not for yourself then for their best interests.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 10:09am
so long as you depend on other people for your happiness it's not going to happen for you...people will devote 35 years of marriage to someone and then they get dumped and what do they have? they have to look to themselves to find happiness...the sooner you learn the lesson, the better off YOUR GIRLS will be so that you can model a strong woman's behavior to them. You cannot look to other people to satisfy your needs, you've got to find yourself first and that is the key to a healthy and loving relationship, not dependance.

You've got to raise the bar!! What kind of standard is that, 'he isn't a violent person'????! And a man leaves because you don't want to go to a PARTY?

You need to work on yourself...focus on your children, grow up for them, grow up with them. The man thing will come together for you when you are ready.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2004
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 4:02pm
hmm...well, all i can say is...where do your two young children fit into all of this. Your actions seem pretty selfish and to be honest you sound like a 17 year old girl with a crush for some guy who obviously is a jerk and not a good role model for your child. I dont mean to sound to harshly, but when are your children gonna have a chance with the kind of men you're bringing into their life? Maybe it's time to think of your children rather than your own physical and sexual needs.