Tricky situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Tricky situation
3
Sun, 03-28-2004 - 10:20pm
About a month ago, I was introduced to this great guy by a mutual friend. I had been in the process of looking for a new church, and this friend invited me to come to visit hers since we're members of the same denomination. She had also been wanting to introduce me to this guy for a while, and saw it as the perfect opportunity. I have started going on a regular basis, because I like the people there and they make me feel welcome. I really like this guy and from what she has said, it sounds like the feeling may be mutual since he has asked her on several occasions to make sure I keep coming back. However, how do I get him to even ask for my number? I asked our friend to "work on it" so to speak, but she said she won't since she tried to "set him up" before and he gets furious when outside people interfere. What do I do? Is it just that the two of us are too timid to make the first move? I have tried to make the first move in the past with guys and it has never worked out. It's also a little tricky since it's at church. It's a bit awkward, in my opinion. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: md1983
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 5:39am
I think you just need to be warm, friendly and patient and if he is sincerely interested and available he will ask you out on a date. If he doesn't like being set up, especially where he knows who the person is - you - then he probably is not very focused on meeting someone special in the sense that if he were he would be willing to try something reasonable like a set up - on the other hand, since he does know you he may just want to be the one to make the first move without outsiders.

I think it's fine for you to make the first move but I have found that it is not really effective if you want a relationship to do the asking out early on - I agree with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
In reply to: md1983
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 1:23pm
Do you share any kind of Sunday school classes or single clubs? Those could be chances to make some more small talk with him, thus giving him some extra confidence to ask for your number.

Or you could try the more direct approach and ask him if he'd like to accompany you for lunch one Sunday after the service.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
In reply to: md1983
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 6:24pm
I have begun attending a Sunday School class with him since we are in the same age group. I have also considered becoming more involved in other ways. I'm going to talk to my friend about what she would suggest getting involved in.