Feeling Rejected
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Feeling Rejected
| Mon, 03-29-2004 - 11:25am |
I lived in Southern California for a few years. The guys were great there and I had two serious relationships that I ran from because i think i was afraid of marriage at the time. Of course, now I regret breaking up with both of the guys because they were great. I am now in NY and I keep getting hurt. It has been one rejection after another and I can't keep going like this. I have tried to join groups, a running group and a writing group, I have tried online and for some reason i get a lot of emails and then people just stop responding. I even placed an ad on a website and someone did call me and i got my hopes up and when i met him he said he just broke up with his girlfriend and just wanted company. After that, I gave up on online dating. One night I went out and met a nerdy guy who was flirting with me. Another guy who I have known for a long time was there too and he is really cute and fun and totally my type, but I know he is not ready for a long term relationship. So, I hung out with the nerdy guy. Long story short- he called me the next day and we went out to a really nice restaurant and then we went on three other dates before he went away for work. He said he would call me and never did. I was so shocked and i felt so betrayed. So, I called the other guy ( the player) and now I have foiund myself hanging out with him just because it feels good to be with someone, but i know he does not like me and i am fooling myself. He does not return my calls or he calls me when his friends are not doing that. In ca I was always treated like a princess and i was never rejected so I know how it feels to be in a good relationship, but here I can't seem to make the cut. I am even thinking of getting out of NYC and going back to CA. I am attractive, 29, love my job and have everything except a guy in my life. I know if you search you may not find, but I also know if i continue this way... i will not meet anyone. Plus, i am really tired of the bar scene cause i end up drinking too much.
Any suggestions? I am beginning to really feel insecure and I keep feeling like I messed up my life be leaving my ex.

As for the guys down here, NY is a rough dating scene. There's such a population of people that it seems hard to meet good ones who are serious. Plus remember, there are so many options out here as well... I would not take any of it personally. Be happy that the guys who stopped calling stopped now b/c you wouldn't want it to be a year later and them doing the same thing.
Have some faith that things will work out. Go home only if it benefits you, not to resume with your ex. Things will improve, just give it some time and try not to worry about it. Have fun with all the things NY has to offer.
I hope this helps.
Hello oliviagrey, welcome to the board!
I know there is a big difference between the east coast and the west coast. The difference in lifestyles alone make a huge difference. Sometimes it isn't easy to make the adjustment.
It just seems to me (from your post) that you may very well be trying too hard... become adjusted to the environment and surroundings and the difference in the people. Keep in mind that, at 29 you are not over the hill yet... but, determine what is important to you and work from that. If having a relationship is important to you and you just can't seem to work that out in NY then maybe a trip back to LA will let you know where you belong. I would imagine that you may find LA to be different too if you have been away for awhile.
Good