I Looked For Dirt....And Found Dirt!!!
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| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 7:33am |
A couple of days ago, I was on the computer surfing the world wide web, and decided to check my fiance's email before I logged off. (I check his email because he cheated on my a while ago.)
Anyway, everything was all good, but then I came across a familiar name. The name of the girl he cheated on me with 2 years ago. The content of the email was innocent enough, nothing even remotely personal. She's pursuing her bachelor's degree, and she was asking him to proofread an observation that she made. Nothing more.
When he cheated with her, we were living in another city, and after we moved, he said he never spoke to her again. And even now, every now and again, I ask if he has spoken to her. He always says, "No, I don't even know how to contact her." But in the email, she recites what city he lives in, what school district he works for, and even the name of the school. He just got this job last year, but according to him, he hasn't spoken to her in 2 years.
Anyway, now I know he's still communicating with her, although I'm pretty sure he's not seeing her. (She's in college in another city)But he has been lying about talking to her.
My problem is, how do I approach him with the issue, without incriminating myself for snooping through his email?

You both are sneaky and dishonest…this doesn’t sound like that great of a relationship.
Be strong, be smart- break off this engagement. Unless you look forward to divorce court.............
I also agree with everyone that you should call this wedding off, for now. You two need counseling before you make a huge mistake. Marriage will not "fix" your problems of trust, cheating and deception. My older sister always told me: never marry a man when you know there are problems, because they will DOUBLE after you marry him. Of course, I had to find out the hard way. I've been divorced 7 years. Let me tell you, it's ROUGH getting married to someone, only to find yourself divorced and BACK in the dating market in your 40's.
Be smart. You were smart (tricky) enough to find out the truth about him... now, shouldn't you use those smarts to keep from hurting yourself?