How many of you have ever...
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How many of you have ever...
| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 8:27pm |
...gotten back with an ex?
I'm really curious about this. I know that one of the normal stages of grieving is bargaining and denial and I went through all of that with my other ex, and I know we are never going to get back together. But the one I broke up with on sunday...I really am not sure if I can let go of the possibility that somewhere down the line, he'll want to get back together.
If you've gotten back together with an ex, can you give us your story? Thanks.

I noticed about 1 month after we broke up that he was including me in his group emails. The first few times I just figured he didn't notice that my email address was still on his list-serve. But then, I started getting group emails from him on my OTHER email address. That told me that he consciously added me to his list. I ran the idea past one of my girlfriends, saying I thought it was odd that he was sending me emails, and she thought it was clear that he was trying to get my attention. Still, I ignored the emails and didn't respond to them. Sometime around Thanksgiving I felt the holiday spirit and included him in one of my group emails. Well, he jumped on it and immediately wrote back saying what a wonderful and inspiring message it was, blah, blah, blah. I replied with a Thank You, and that opened the dialogue back up between us. Kinda hokey, I know. But I have to admit that it felt REALLY good to know he was so eager to talk to me again. The point is we were BOTH ready to communicate with each other, and we ultimately decided we wanted to try again.
If he hadn't made me feel VERY sure that he wanted a committed relationship with me, there would have been no second-go-round for us. At this stage in my life, I am not interested in playing around with him, or anybody. I need a relationship I can depend on. I don't need MARRIAGE at this point, but we have both stated that when things smooth out in our lives, as individuals, getting married again (to each other) is a real possibility.
Generally, I don't recommend that people count on getting back together with an ex. Usually, the problems that split you up are so great, or one person is so unwilling or unable to commit to the other, that it doesn't make sense to hope for a reconciliation. But if there was no tremendous breach of trust, and both people come back together with an understanding of what the other one wants, and they WANT to make it work, it can work.