confused about new guy's behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
confused about new guy's behavior
5
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 12:31pm
About a week and 1/2 ago my coworkers fixed me up with the fedex driver that comes into work.(this was a Friday). He gave me his cell and home number and then called me on Sat. and Sun. so we could talk. We seemed to have much in common and he was making plans to see me outside of work. We met for lunch on Mon. and he asked if I would be home that night and he would call me. ---He never called. I'm totally confused. I know he has just gotten out of a 2 year relationship. His ex ended it with him about 3 months ago. He is also a very busy guy. He said that was the reason his ex broke up with him. I like this guy and would like to see more of him, but his behavior is baffling??? I think maybe he got scared, but I don't know. What are the opinons out there?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 12:36pm

I think it's much more likely that he's just an unreliable guy, rather than that he got scared.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 12:55pm
Why assume he's "scared" when he's never even met you? I highly doubt the guy is scared to go on a date. Chances are he IS just busy and has priorities above you. I'd be wary however of anyone who's priorities didn't include being reliable and following through on what they promise. That is important to me, so I would quickly lose interest in someone who wasn't on the same page about that. But that's just me.

I wouldn't spend too much of your time trying to analyze his behavior. That's just making assumptions and you don't know him well enough to even begin to do that -- you've never even met him! Just try to shrug it off and move on. If he calls, he calls. If not, not. Don't make it about you b/c it probably isn't.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 1:14pm

She wrote that they had lunch on Monday...where did you get that they hadn't met?


Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 2:56pm
Thanks Sheri for the reply and correction. It's been a little while since I posted. I have talked to the guy since. Here is the situation.---He told me from the beginning that he hadn't been dating at the time because he was so busy. He referees weekend hockey games.(sometimes to 11:00 at night.)I have talked to him face to face twice and he still acts like he wants to get together, but doesn't have time right now. If he is trying to drive me crazy-it is working. A friend of mind told me to do what feels right and not listen to the typical rules.--If he hasn't set up another date, write him off etc.

I tend to believe her. I'm 29, he's 32. I also gave him an out the other week, that if he didn't want to continue our "adventure" he should just tell me. His response was that he didn't bail on me, he just has been crazy busy. He even suggested we both take a day of work so we could spend some time together. Any words of encouragement???

P.S. I do have another life besides him. I think we just have to manage to get our schedules to coincide.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 4:22pm
I would date other guys and only have this guy on your radar screen if and when he actually *makes a date* with you and actually *keeps* it. Until then, it's all talk, and talk is cheap. Consistent actions over time are what count.

Sheri