why won't he leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
why won't he leave
1
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 12:49pm
After 24 yrs of marriage, I've been divorced for 8 mo now and my 16 yr old son lives with me. One day I contacted a good friend on Classmates, that used to live near me when we were teens to see what he's been up to all these years. I always wondered where he moved, as I also moved out of state. We now live 400 miles away from each other. He replied to my email and was glad to hear from me. We started talking on the phone and emailing each other almost every day. We have learned that we both have a very much in common. He is unhappily married (for 3 yr now) but has lived with wife 10 yr before that. She has 2 adult children (21 and 22) who live at home and they do not have any between them. He told me he always had feelings for me when we were younger but was too shy to ask me out. Then, he was like my brother to me.

After a few months went by he said he has feelings for me now and would love to spend the rest of our lives together. My feelings have grown for him too. His wife found a text message I sent to his cell phone and was very upset. Yes, I can understand. Since then she censors his email. He told her he wanted a divorce and she threatened to burn his clothes when he went to work. First she said she would give him a divorce, then a few days later she said she wouldn’t and that she would ruin things for him at work. A few days later he contacted me and said she changed the cell number and blocked me from calling the house. Now I can't call him, except at work. He gave me his new email but only checks it at work. He still calls me almost every day. He keeps saying he will leave her. At this point so far we have never been together, just exchanged pictures. Eight months later I drove to his town and we spent several passionate hours together. He did not spend the night though. Two weeks later they got into a heated argument and he told her I had visited, he wanted a divorce, and she blew up again. He got her calmed down since she threatened to hurt me. Anyway, 4 months later I visited his town again and we spent several hours together again.

In the 15 mo that we've been in contact with each other, we've had intimate relations twice. He keeps saying he will leave her and says there's nothing stopping him from leaving. I have more less given him deadlines to leave by but that day comes and goes. If we were seeing each regularly having sex, then I could see that he was using me for the sex, but we have only been together the two times. So why does he not leave her? He says I'm the only one for him and will always be. Should I keep waiting for him?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-01-2004 - 1:19pm

I think you want the "My Affair" board.


Sheri