can guys and girls just be friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
can guys and girls just be friends?
4
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 1:51pm
i've known this guy for a little over a year now...but i havent seen him in almost a year! when we first met, i had a bf but i was unhappy. he pursued me consistently and we quickly got to know each other. he called me alot and asked me to hang out all the time. i broke up w/my bf and shortly after that the other guy and i were hanging out and talking on the phone alot! (i think i was on the rebound). we had so much fun together, and he's got a great personality, but i found out that he's into drugs which completely turned me off! i finally asked him where things were going w/us, and he said he just wanted to have fun, but he thinks i'm cool and fun and likes hanging out w/me. there was also a definite physical attraction. its been a year now...and i miss hanging out w/him, cause i enjoyed his company. we've kept in touch, and still get along well. ive thought about calling him up and ask him to hang out again, but i don't want to fall for him again. what are the chances that he's changed and is not just looking to have more fun?! confused?! any advice is appreciated!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 3:07pm
I don't think a guy and a girl can be just friends. I'm only basing that on my life and what I've seen in my life.

I have never been able to maintain a friendship with a woman without her falling for me or vice versa.

I have never seen anyone maintain a guy/girl friendship for more than 6 months without one person falling for the other.

It may happen... but I've never seen it with my own eyes.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 3:56pm

To answer your question, yes, men and women can be just friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 5:32pm
Whenever guys do this, it's not a good sign, trust me. I used to give the benefit of the doubt in these types of situations, but they really don't deserve it. It sounds like you're there for his convenience-don't let him use you for that purpose. I know it's hard, I have had guy friends like this who used me in the same way, yet I didn't realize it until later. If he cares he will show consistent interest in hanging out with you for friendship-type reasons, and not constantly asking you about your status boyfriend-wise. Whatever you do, be careful, and no matter how special this guy seems, know that you are too special too risk your emotional well-being on trusting him too soon. I speak from experience, sorry if I sound harsh, but I've done this too many times, what you're going thru, and I wish someone could have told me to stay away!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 8:51pm
yes, you're right...i guess i just felt rejected by him...the funny thing is, he's not even close to what i'm looking for in a guy. thanks for your 2 cents.