I left the love of my life...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
I left the love of my life...
2
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 3:35pm
How can I get him back. We have been dating for 9m. We have a lot in common and do many things together. He my best friend. The issue is why I always run when things get good for me. I start by picking out what is wrong with him so its easier to leave so I dont get hurt in the end. I do have issue of abandement from my parents to my x-husband. Its been over 7yrs being on my own. I am 37 and have two wonderful kids. I feel horrable about leaving him and want to make things better. We meet this last time and he said he need to think about what happen to make sure I wont do this again because he was to hurt from this. He is the only man that I love and like very much. He has a great personality and fun to be around. He is the only man that has not judged me in anyway. I really need help on what to do and if he never wants me back what to do than.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 4:30pm
The key to being able to find and sustain a happy, healthy relationship is that you MUST be a happy, emotionally healthy indiviual FIRST. That is what you need to do BEFORE you will ever succeed in making this or any other relationship work. Instead of focusing your energy on how to "make HIM" behave in a certain way or feel something in particular, focus on YOU and your own behavior and feelings. Get some counselling. Then maybe he'll see you're serious about wanting to stop your destructive behavior. Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 12:46pm
my best friend told me "fight for your love, it's not about being proud to show someone you need him, it's about being sincere and opening your heart. if he listens and comes back to you, you'll see it was worth it. if he does not, you did all you could and there's nothing to regret. it was his choice". i listened to her and did my best to save my relationship - didn't work out, him and i are still apart but she was so right about doing all you can do and having no regrets and "should have done" thoughts. not my usual style, i'm not good with opening up but.. sometimes it's needed i guess

give it all but if it's not accepted, let go and move on.

all the best to you

N