date a guy you don't want to marry?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2004
date a guy you don't want to marry?
3
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 5:24pm
If you've been with someone for 2 years and you can't see yourself marrying him eventually, yet you want to be married someday, should you stay with him or open up to other dating possibilities? Please let me know all opinions are welcome.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 5:32pm
Well, it's your obligation in life to affiliate with people that want what you want...so that you're able to pursue what you want without losing he people that you like, admire, respect, and enjoy in your life.

If you ant marriage eventually - and it's not in the next 5 years...keep dating him if you like the fun, sex, and companionship - because that is all dating is.

But at the point where you're wanting to seek a partner, start dating to find one - start at least 3 years prior to wanting to marry to ensure tha tyou don't rush into anything and live to regret it...then it is up to you to stop dating them, get over te loss, and move on.

Because you won't change what they want...giving them waht they want. If they don't want responsiblity, obliation, and commitment - nothing yo ugive or offer is going to change that. And so at some point for you to get with a partner that does want those things -you'll have to leave and incur the pain.

Unless, they find someone else that suits thier fancy better - in which case, just don't start up dating people you wouldn't consider marrying if you're the dumpee.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 6:58am
I would say be fair to that person. If they know that you have no intentions of marrying them and they are ok with that, then continue to date them. But if they hope to be married one day and they think you may be the one then you are using them--break up.

There's no point in passing time with someone you don't want to end up with though in my eyes...

 

Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 7:14am
If you are in Mass, and you want to go to Florida, why get in your car and head north? My point being, why wouldnt you actively pursue what you desire?