Frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Frustrated
3
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 10:39am
I am in my late 40's and divorced and met a man on line last month who is divorced and in my age group. For the past 3 weeks we have talked over an hour each night on the phone and seem to get along very well. There is laughter and sharing of our lives and values. He mentioned meeting me once in one of our first emails and I have brought it up since then. We have each others pictures, phone and adresses both at home and work. He has not set a time for us to meet yet and I am finding myself getting more and more involved each time we speak. The problem is when we do meet what if there is no chemistry and I wonder why he is stalling in meeting me? We seem compatible and both are professionals is our community. I do not want to walk away from this but a month of it with no meeting? Any ideas out there?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: canelso
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 10:49am

Yes, my advice is to ask him to contact you when he would like to meet, and then move on (i.e., DO NOT continue to talk to him)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: canelso
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 5:02pm
I will not continue speaking to a man I meet online unless we make a plan to meet after the second conversation at the very latest - and only if he had to end the first conversation because of another call, etc. - I would assume that a man who wants to further the fantasy image from typing and talking is either attached or not interested in a relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: canelso
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 5:54pm
There's no hard and fast rule and if you follow any, it may be too rigid or you may miss out on something. My best friend waited close to a year before she met the guy she was talking to online in person. They are now in a happy relationship for the last year. She had patience and just let things progress as they did, not rushing anything, just enjoying the blooming friendship. It worked for her.

I think it comes down to what you can live with. If it's important to you to meet him now, then do what makes you happy. Some people wouldn't go past one month to meet an online person, others would wait months. I think the key is whichever way you choose, you do not place expectations on the meeting. Realize you may not 'click' in person. Be cautiously optimistic.

But personally I wouldn't put any sort of rules on things--life is not so hard set and rigid. Things happen at their own pace. Just follow your guts.