Daily doesnt know

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Daily doesnt know
2
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 7:59pm
hey,

im posting a comment on "10 Traits Men Look for in a Girlfriend" written by Francesca Di Meglio. in the letter she posted the following as quoted from someone named daily. "2. She never makes the first move. This issue has been debated to death, and there is no true consensus. But Daily says that she strongly believes women should never, ever pursue a man. Instead, she suggests waiting for the man to initiate and plan dates. Her reasoning: If the woman is always the one calling, she will never know if he is really interested in her or if it's just convenient for him. She may find herself questioning the relationship every step of the way. Men simply aren't programmed to think like that and therefore are better suited to the chase, Daily says."

i dont know who daily is but she has no idea what she is talking about. first off, i am a guy so listen to me. there are men, myself included, who like women who are assertive. for example, i am shy. i hide my motives and usually wont even tell a woman that i like her. so i like it when a woman says something. if nothing else, its confirmation that my assessment of the situation is correct.

personally i prefer people, regardless of male or female, who are honest and tell me what is going on. if you follow decorum (men make the 1st move), tradition (women should be seen not heard) and steriotypes (smile and nod) i will ignore you. in affect you become like that annoying song by eminem ("the real slim shady"), the same old thing does not catch my attention and gets to be annoying. if you cant think for yourself i generally wont pay attention to you.

in other words, the people i like the most are those who know what they want and do what is necessary to get it. this applies not only to me but to all of my friends. i am not saying lets change the world or lets all be leaders. to say it simply, there is success and failure in everything. in order to succeed you have to try. if you do nothing you fail by default. and if you act like everyone else you become part of the scenery.

anyway, what really matters in life is not our similarities. it would be boring if we were all the same. so why do we try to be the same? what is interesting is our differencees. think about it, everyone doesnt like the same music, clothing, colors, art, subjects, professions, religions, ideologies, etc. the only way that tradition can help you is by helping you blend into the crowd. and that does not attract attention.

sincerely,

mysticcrow2@hotmail.com

ps this is the only post i have time to do. i am busy studying, homework, tests, 2 clubs, habitat for humanity, etc. email me if you expect me to respond to what you have to say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 04-03-2004 - 9:08pm
I am warm friendly and approachable but 99% of the time I do not ask men out on dates early on in the relationship, believe that men are flattered when asked out but those are not the women they end up getting serious with, and I am typically not attracted to a man who is so painfully shy that even if am warm friendly and approachable he will not ask me out for coffee - I know few men like this; I know more men who are interested, but just not interested enough to ask me out on a date and my doing the asking is not going to increase their interest level.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 04-04-2004 - 8:47am
Sounds like you are saying you are too shy to ask women out. I like to think that there is someone out there for everyone, though. Probably somewhere there is an aggressive assertive woman who thinks shyness in men is cute and will ask you out. However, most women are just not like this and they want a man who has the self confidence to initiate contact and in general "act like a man" in the relationship. Iri