Confused
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Confused
| Sun, 04-04-2004 - 3:14am |
I have a boyfriend of a year and a half and until recently i thought he was the one but recently at a family wedding i met a man 14yrs older than me and we hit it off and friends of mine noticed straight away and i was given the third degree but there advice was useless. We had a lot in common and he was the sweetest guy i had ever met when i danced in his arms it was like there was no one else in the room just us and the music i felt like the luckiest women live to be in his arms we flirted and i feel that it was not one sided when he had to leave for home i bawled for two days afterwards feering i would never hear from or see him again until a few days later when he called we spoke for half an hour and exchanged email addresses except his does not seem to work probably due to me not wrighting it down properly i also found out he will shortly be moving a short distance from my home town. My big dilema is i have such strong felings for the other man do i dump my boyfriend in hope something will happen with the other man or do i keep my boyfriend and try hard to ignore my other feelings i dont really want to upset my boyfriend either because he is a nice guy but really insicure and i know he would go to pieces if i dumped him but do i compramise my happiness because of that or risk my relationship for a chance with the other man PLEASE HELP ME I AM REALLY DESPERATELY CONFUSED AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING THE AGE DIFFERANCE IS NO PROBLEM ALLTHOUGH OTHERS MAY THINK DIFFERENT

So are you 17?
To answer your question, I think that if your feelings for your bf are so lukewarm that the only reason you are staying with him is that you are afraid that a breakup will be hard for him, I think that it is past time to leave. But not to date someone else, but b/c your bf isn't right for you. If your bf isn't right for you, why not take some time to be by yourself?
But please, don't discount the age difference with the guy you just met. When I was about your age, I briefly dated a guy who was 25 and there was a world of difference in our maturity levels and experiences, and I really think it's a good thing that we didn't last long.
It sends a big red flag up to me when a 32 year old man is interested in an 18 year old. I'm sure you are very nice..you may even be mature for your age. But the experiences in life that a 32 year old has are vast..some of them issues an 18 year old shouldn't even be thinking of yet..and I'm not talking sex. Most people this age have been to college, gotten their first real job, maybe been laid off, worried about paying household bills, have children (maybe age 10 or 12 by now), paying child support, trouble with exwives/husbands, bought houses, rented apartments, funding their retirement. These are all experiences age 32 could or has gone thru...most that an 18 year old can't relate to yet(and trust me, you don't want to yet hon). I'm concerned that he will play you and let me say..it's not easy for us 32 year old women who've had some or all the above experiences to figure out when we are being played....let alone someone who is 18. No offense but when a 32 year old man is interested in an 18 year old woman...he either wants a young peice of a&*...which I'm sure you don't want to be....or he has some MAJOR developmental issues of his own to deal with. The first will definetely hurt you in the end....the second, depending on what those issue are could destroy you. Evaluate your feelings for your boyfriend by themselves not in comparison to this guy. Either break it off with your BF or stay..depending on those feelings. But stay away from the 32 year old and create your own experiences and joys with someone a bit closer to your age.