Guy Problems!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Guy Problems!
7
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 11:22am
Okay I will give you some background information, my friend well call her Sherri and I started hanging out with this guy we will call him Mike November of last year. At the time we all started hanging out Sherri had a crush on Mike so I took no interest in him because that is what a good friend is back off if the other one is interest well we all hung out together for 3 months and in that 3 months Sherri had spent the night over Mike's several times but nothing ever happened between them no kissing, no holding hands, and no sex. Well, at around February I would call Sherri to hang out and she would just leave me hanging and I know she was hanging with Mike and probably wanted him all to herself. Well, we hung out on St. Patty's day and I meet this guy we will call him Brad I guess she had been talking to, well he took and interest in me instead of her so him and I started talking. One night in April I called her and texted him to see what they were up to, well I get a text back saying don't text or call us anymore s/b. So I was very upset and I said I wouldn't call or text them after this. Well, being a woman I don't like not having closure so I tried calling him and he never answered his phone or call me back so I let it go. Being a good friend I decided to call her because I missed hanging with her and tried calling her in mid-April I had no luck so I decided to call Shane at his work, he couldn't talk on the phone so I went to his work and we talked for a bit then exchanged numbers. Well, we started hanging out and talking every day for two weeks, Sherri not knowing any of this. It was like we just clicked we could hang out and just have fun staying in. Well, needless to say during that time we held hands but didn't kiss because we were taking things slow. Well, two and a half weeks ago Mike roommate got drunk while he was out and told Sherri that Mike and I were hanging out that night after Mike had told her he was sick and couldn't chill with her. She called and got mad and nasty with him and he told her it was no of her business. Well, three days after that when we talked we established we were interested in each other. Well, I haven't heard from him since that last phone call. But I have gotten some news since then that guy Brad I mention earlier called me a couple days ago and said that Sherri had wrote that message and that she always told him that I was have sex with other guys, which is a complete lie I haven't had sex in 5 years. I have also learned that Sherri and her have been hanging out for the past week and a half together. So after this long story my question for you is what should I do about Mike? Do you think Sherri could have said something to him to make him stop talking to me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: swtchica23
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 11:38am

Hello swtchica!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: swtchica23
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:59pm
I know it is kind of confusing but I just wanted to add some things that I didn't add before because it was already to long. Sherri and Mike were never a couple they never established a relationship or that they liked each other they were just friends. Even my other friend we will call her Megan said that she knows that Mike and Sherri never had a realtionhsip and that he never talked to her the way he talked to me you know by showing that he does care about me and wants to start something with me. Also Mike isn't the most grown-up guy meaning he has had some money troubles and Sherri has helped him out with him so bascically he was using her. Well I found out from his roommate that he is two months behind on his rent and that they were going to kick him out if he didn't come up with the money and thats when he started hanging out with Sherri again. So is there anything different now that I have said this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: swtchica23
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 1:05pm
That helps me to understand a little better...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: swtchica23
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 2:15pm
So should I just leave them both alone? And if Mike wants anything to happen he will call me on his own and that way I will know that he does want to start a relationship? But should I ask him right away about what happen or should I wait?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: swtchica23
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 2:49pm
Now you're on the right track... let them make the effort... let them come to you. And, if they don't, then you are free to move on...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: swtchica23
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 3:34pm
HELLO??? You still want to date Mike? You said that he was "using" someone and that he is irresponsible and doesn't pay his bills?

You should MOVE ON...even at younger ages, you should be able to find a more honest and trustworthy guy.

And as to Brad, dump him too! If he didn't send the message, he should have apologized IMMEDIATELY after it happened...not "later"...bc if he respected you, he wouldn't have wanted you to have hurt feelings. Before you try to defend him remember he had to LET Sherri send the message, and he obviously KNEW about it and KNEW you were going to be hurt.

You need new friends.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
In reply to: swtchica23
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 4:09pm
I know what you are saying and you are right. But I guess I am just hard headed. When Mike and I would talk he talked about changing his life around and do better so that we could get a house together for him, myself, and my daughter. And the money thing I can understand but I asked him once while we were talking if he needed anything money because the job he was currently in wasn't making much money and he told me he didn't want to borrow money from me. And the last I heard from his roommate he has gotten a new job and is making better money now then before. But I am not going to call either of them and see what happens I will let you all know the outcome of all of this later on. Thanks everyone for all your help it is nice to talk to people about my problems and get feedback.