WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME THEN??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME THEN??
6
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 8:43pm
I dont know if it is me or guys. I have been told by many people, relatives, friends, coworkers (single guys-but not interested in me-, married guys, single women, etc) that Im an attractive woman, im pretty, im approachable, Im a nice woman with a good sens of humor, everyone seems to get along with me, Im easy going,etc and how come at my age I dont have a boyfriend, how is that possible, etc. I make friends easily.

Even married guys have told me they like me and that how come Im not married or even have a boyfriend, they tell it to my face, coworkers always flattered me at work, There is a currennt single guy at work, that always flatters me and it seems he likes me but I dont know if he is just like men, that flatters without any interested or he really likes me but dont dare to tell it to my face, just looks at me, always, says pretty things to me.

At work, I see that many men always look at me, they find me attractive, but that is it.

Do I intimidate man just because the way I am?

Today at work a married coworker even told me in private of course: "You see, Im happily married, I love my wife and we have a good relationship, I will never get involved with another woman, but you know... I like you as a woman, You are a pretty lady, approachable, easy going, you get along with everyone. How come you dont have a boyfriend at this moment"

Others have told me similar things.

So what is wrong with me, that It seems men like me, but I dont have a boyfriend, not even a male friend to go out with, if people say Im a nice lady, good person, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 10:02pm
Im willing to bet that there is not one thing "wrong" with you! Could it be that you have so much anxiety centered around this matter, that men are sensing it? I know that WITHOUT FAIL everytime I am in my mode of "Why cant I meet a man?" there is not a man to be found. Once I just say "To heck with it...if I meet someone great" someone comes along.

As an aside, coworkers may be cautious about dating a fellow coworker perhaps?

Wendie

Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 1:18am
I said coworkers because those are the only male I have known in my life, I dont have friends outside work like neighbors or something like that, not even ex classmates from high school. I dont have anxiety but is it common that in my 33yrs old of age I have never ever had not even one boyfriend in my life?

I know that if someone comes along great, but how come if for other male I found them attractive, nice person, etc and that is the way I am, why I seems to scare them away. Just a thought.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 3:11am
Thank you for the additional information (age, dating history, etc.) As I dont know you personally, every bit of info helps. I have more questions though....Are you nervous around men? Would you ever consider online dating? The reason I ask that is if you join a dating website, you are there for one very specific reason, to meet someone and hopefully have a relationship. Therefore, your "audience" so to speak, will be looking for a lovely lady like you.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 1:48pm

Hello maru!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 8:36pm
Hi. You said that I should go out during available time like walks in town, shopping, attending sporting or cultural events might help. But I dont like to go to those plaes by myself, I mean just me in those events, that could be boring!!

I mean what I am now more confused than before is how come Im more attractive to married man than to single guys. I appeal more to married man than to single guys, I mean they like me, not that I like them of course, of course im not interested in married guys at all, but it seems that is the only type of guys they got attracted to me. Why a single guy cannot be attractive to me and just married guys?

There is a guy at work who is married and believe me he told me last week, up front and honestly, that he likes me. He told me that he is happy in his marriage, he loves his wife, but for some reason he likes me, he feel attracted to me, because of the way I am: natural, special, pretty, sincere.

Why a single guy dont say those words to me, I mean single guys I know. Why they are not attracted to me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 8:42pm
I can understand not liking to do things by yourself but you can either go places by yourself to offer more opportunities to attract men or you can limit your opportunities by not going.