what are we doing?
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what are we doing?
| Wed, 05-26-2004 - 9:02pm |
I met this guy at work. He was working on a temporary consulting assignment and he had to share an office with me for a few days. We started talking and I found out he had just earned his MBA and I told him I was going to begin pursuing my MBA in the Fall. He offered advice an suggested readings. We continued talking as friends during his assignment and after we emailed each other - the usual stuff - jokes, updates about the office, etc. We decided to meet up for drinks after work. Since I truly saw it as a friendship, I was totally uninhibited and we joked and made fun of each other through the night. It got really late and the only safe mode of transportation at that time was a cab ride - which would've run me over $50. So I stayed over his house. We ended up kissing and cuddling (no sex) and talking about our families and more about ourselves. The next night, I was out with a friend and he called me and asked if I would meet up with him and his friends. I did and he introduced me to his friends and they told me they had heard a lot about me and told me that he's a great guy. So again, we went back to his place. He told me more about his family and asked about mine. I then disclosed that I was divorced and have a baby daughter. He told me that didn't change the way he felt about me. We ended up sleeping together that night. I had never done anything like that before. Its been about a week and a half. We've emailed each other and talked to each other on the phone, but I guess there's somewhat of an awkwardness now. I've reverted back to thinking as if this is some type of new relationship (discounting the initial semi-friendship we were establishing) and don't know what we're doing. My friends tell me not to call it dating because we slept together and that doesn't necessarily mean we're an item and that I should following general seeing each other type of etiquette and not call, etc. I'm so confused. I don't want him to think I'm not interested and then again, I don't know if I can be the way I was before this with him becuase it may be misconstrued as overeagerness. So, what do I do and does anyone know what we're doing?

It would be easy for Pianoguy to say that the man had a few 2nd thoughts after he slept with you. He might have regretted sleeping with you after realizing that you had a daughter...and might have assumed that you were looking for a husband or perhaps a 'dad replacement' for your daughter?
But the fact that you're still talking on the phone and sending emails to each other obviously HASN'T soured his feelings...or ENDED your relationship, right?
Why not invite the guy over for a home-cooked meal...and see if he's confortable talking to you about his feelings. You don't have to ask him 20 questions, but perhaps the opportunity for each of you to "clear the air" will give YOU a better idea about where the 2 of you are headed...if anywhere? Best of luck!
Pianoguy
If hes a "good one" and is interested in more than a fling, he will ask you out. If it doesnt develop into more...what can you do? Lesson learned.