How do I protect myself emotionally?
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How do I protect myself emotionally?
| Thu, 05-27-2004 - 4:23pm |
Since I'm new to the actual "dating" arena (first bf was the "insta-couple" thing), I'm not sure how to protect myself emotionally while dating new men. It may be because I'm a pisces, or incidents from growing up, but I find myself longing for a personal connection very badly at times. I happy as a single person, yet when someone special comes along, I find it incredibly easy to just pour out everything. I admit even I would find that a lot to digest in the beginnings of r/ships!
I can easily enough learn not to SPILL information, I've been practicing for a while now. Yet I can't seem to stop myself from emotionally bonding with someone when it's way too early. Any tricks? Any points of view that you view your date through so that you don't get lost and blinded while getting to know someone?
I can easily enough learn not to SPILL information, I've been practicing for a while now. Yet I can't seem to stop myself from emotionally bonding with someone when it's way too early. Any tricks? Any points of view that you view your date through so that you don't get lost and blinded while getting to know someone?
mairead

As far as getting attached emotionally quickly, I would wait awhile, yes easier said than done, but find other things that you are interested in. That way you can put all your emotions into a particular hobby or class that you may be taking. This is a lot healthier than getting emotionally attached to someone, because then you won't get hurt. Get a pet, become a Big Sister to someone who needs emotional bonding(Through the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America Organization). They wouldn't mind.There are other things that you could invest your emotions in, it doesn't have to involve a relationship with someone that you want to date. Write your feelings in a diary instead of telling someone right off how you feel for them , when the time is right, say after they open up to you or you feel a great bond(usually happens when two people have a lot in common), then talk to them, but in moderation. Do you understand? I hope I helped in some way.
I hope this helps you a little bit.
--continue dating other people while I'm getting to know someone (I generally wait until I've been dating someone for at least 6-8 weeks before deciding whether to date them exclusively)
--only go out once or twice a week max and don't talk on the phone every day
--no physical intimacy until we've dated for a while and are exclusive
--saying to myself, as often as necessary, "Yeah, he seems great, but it's early, you barely KNOW him. Time will tell." or some variation thereof!
Sheri